Where the Hell Was I? blog: Original humor & comedy articles daily weblog

Some Things Are Gonna Change Around Here...

I've noticed lately that I've been making too much sense.

Okay, that's an easily argued-down point. Let me rephrase it.

I've noticed lately that I've been staying on topic in my posts. Too much on topic.

See, if I actually start out writing about something, and actually write about that same thing all the way through, never stopping to smell the roses or launch onto some inane tangent, then the title of this blog doesn't make much damned sense, then, does it? I can't very well say 'Where the hell was I? when I know at all times where the hell I am. It's a simple bit of logic.

At the same time, I've been flying without a gimmick lately.

(No, not without a 'gizmo'. Without a 'gimmick'. My 'gizmo' is just fine, thank you very much.)

I used to have a gimmick -- I came up with a new blog tagline with every post, whether I needed one or not. Over a hundred of them, in fact. But I wrapped that up a while back, and since then have been without a trick or twist to spice things up.

Well I say, 'No more!' I've decided to take care of both problems at once. Kill the proverbial 'two pedestrians with one swerve', if you will.

(What, you don't like that one? How about 'kill two Siamese twins with one ill-advised operation'? 'Two nuts with one crack'? 'Two tiddles with one wink'? 'Two...' You know, I forgot what my point was.

Where the hell was I?

(God, I missed saying that.))

Anyway, I've come up with a plan for mixing things up a bit, and with a daily gimmick, to boot. Why, yes, thank you, I am just as pleased as punch. Thanks for noticing.

And what's the gimmick, you ask? (Assuming you haven't jammed your eyeballs out with a pencil while waiting for me to get to the damned point.) Well, it's just this:

Every day, from now until the universe stops expanding and implodes in upon itself (or until I get bored of this little game, whichever comes first), I will, once and only once, use the Merriam-Webster official Word of the Day in a post. Doesn't matter what it is, or how little it has to do with the topic I've chosen. And I'm not just going to plop it in by saying, 'Oh, the Word of the Day is persnickety, by the way.' In other words, I'm not going to cheat. I'm going to learn the word, and use it -- highlighted in red or something so you can identify it -- as it's intended in a real, live sentence. I'll find a way, no matter how ridiculous. Just watch me.

So, that's my gimmick. Be on the lookout for it. I just subscribed to get those words in my mailbox every day, and I'm already working on today's. It may not be much, folks, but it's all I can offer right now. Hope you like it. Maybe we'll both learn something. Stranger things have happened, right?

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