Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
Site Search:
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

« Where's the Law of Averages When You Really Need It? | Main | My Shortest Post, Ever (Prolly!) »

If You Don't Like This Game, Then You're Probably a _______

Okay, folks -- I'm in a silly mood.

(No, really, even for me. Hide the women and cattle prods. I'm serious, here.)

So, let's play a game. I just thought of this one earlier today, so we'll have to see how it goes. Anyway, here are the rules, and they're very simple:

I'll write two sentences, each containing a blank.

(If you're not familiar somehow with the concept of 'blanks', just keep an eye out for the big long underliney thingy. That's where the blank is -- where a word should be, but can't be found. And has left a slimy trail of underlines on its way out. That's pretty much 'blank' in a nutshell.)

Anyway, two sentences, each with a blank. Now, the same word will fill each blank, and it's up to you to guess what the word is. Two blanks, one word. And I'll post the answer below the pair, so you can keep score and see how you're doing. Got it? Could I drag the rules out any fucking longer? No. No, I couldn't.

(Oh, wait -- yes, I could. Could do, and will. Because I want to mention -- just to keep you cheatybirds from peeking, I'll black the answers out. So, you'll have to highlight the text to read them, once you're ready to give up and admit you're a little bitty baby girl who can't guess the right answer.

And hey -- take as long as you want. The blanks'll still be there when you finally face the music. We're not goin' anywhere, here.)



All right, enough chitchat. Let's give this baby a whirlypoo. Here's your first pair:

'Derek Jeter is a big, fat, stinky ___________'

and

'The ___________ next door likes to play with yarn and chase mice.'

Got it yet?

Come on -- this is a gimme. Ready?

Okay, but just another minute. I'm humming the Jeopardy thing here to time you...

All right, time's up! The answer, of course, is shortstop. That's right, shortstop.

(Yeah, the guy next door is a little senile. He chases mice. He knits. But he can still turn the double play, dammit.

And Jeter is stinky. Ask anybody. I'm just saying.)



All right -- that was way too easy. Let's try a harder one, now. Here we go:

'Mary can fit three -- three! -- cucumbers at one time into her __________'

and

'The chicks all dig me because I really know my way around a ____________'

(Of course, to be fair, I get to play around with my wife's at home, so I get a lot of practice.

Hey, that's a hint! You people got that one for free, too. I'm getting soft in my old age.)

Okay, so make your guesses now. No lines, no waiting.

Come on, now -- just a wild guess. Anything'll do, here. This ain't Family Feud, you know. Get a damned move-on!

Oh -- wait. Did I hear the answer, way back there in the back? Yes, that's right! The answer is salad shooter. Very good back there -- salad shooter it is. You get a gold star!



All right. One more before bedtime. Let's get right to it:

'People say Betty would lose her ___________ if it weren't screwed on straight.'

and

'Mike told his friends, 'I'll be back in five; I've gotta hit the ____________''

So how 'bout it? You got this one? Need some time?

You sure? You're ready? Okay, then. Obviously, the answer is cootchie. Yep, cootchie. I trust we all got that one. Always good to end on an easy one, eh?



So, that's the game. I hope all of you scored three for three -- maybe next time I can come up with some more challenging questions, eh? And maybe I can offer prizes for right answers -- you might come away with a shiny new salad shooter, or maybe some stinky shortstop's cootchie.

Or, yeah... perhaps not. I'm all about 'booby prizes', but that's a little much. I think we'll just stick to the blogging, instead. Much better.





Permalink | Comments (6)






Comments

Oooh! Oooh! I'm the one who guessed "salad shooter"!! No...wait... I said "salad tossing". Rats, so close. Hey - just stumbled on your diary and I'm lovin' it. Great writing, guy!

The answer is SALLY. Don't congratulate me, I'm just smart like that.

Hilarious. Effin hilarious.

Doh! I got them all wrong!

Thank GOODNESS I didn't turn off profanity in Blog Explosion, I would've completely missed this post.... ;)

That was great fun...too bad I got them all wrong! (although I thought about the salad shooter, but changed my mind...damn!)

Love your blog!

Post a comment

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Science:
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks


Me on Apartments:
  Author Page


Three Wee Tweets:
Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers (70)
A Doofus Is Me (203)
Articles 'n' Zines (74)
Audience Participation (35)
Awkward Conversations (176)
Bits About Blogging (168)
Bitter Old Man Rants (50)
Blasts from My Past (78)
Cars 'n' Drivers (60)
Dog Drivel (78)
Eek!Cards (267)
Foodstuff Fluff (116)
Fun with Words! (71)
Googlicious! (27)
Grooming Gaffes (88)
Just Life (238)
Loopy Lists (33)
Making Fun of Jerks (59)
Marketing Weenies (66)
Married and a Moron (185)
Miscellaneous Nonsense (62)
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig (84)
Sleep, and Lack Thereof (34)
TV & Movies & Games, O My! (101)
Tales from the Stage (74)
Tasty Beverages (29)
The Happy Homeowner (81)
Vacations 'n' Holidays (134)
Weird for the Sake of Weird (71)
Whither the Weather (40)
Wicked Pissah Bahstan (49)
Wide World o' Sports (124)
Work, Work, Work (206)

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

Listed on BlogShares

Top Blogs

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved