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Zolton's Facebook Pranks on Tequila Companies

I originally wrote this piece for, for use on the late, great comedy site Text and images published here with permission.

There are many kinds of holiday traditions. Some people warble old songs off-key to annoy the neighbors. Others slaughter and display innocent evergreen trees in their living rooms. Some sit on a fat old bearded man's lap and make wishes.

My personal tradition is to sneak a flask into Christmas parties and drink until I can write "Fa la la la la, la la la la" in the snow out back. Or possibly the side of the garage.

(Hey, I said it was a "tradition"; not a good tradition. I never promised you people a sugarplum garden.)

Of course, if you're getting sloshed for the holidays, you need a booze of choice. A go-to Christmas spirit. Your Hakkukah hooch. A Kwaanza quaff. A winter solstice whistle-wetter.

Mine is tequila. And so, in honor of the season, I hit up some of the world's most popular agave squeezers for advice on making life more festive this year. Where "festive" has less to do with hanging tinsel and wrapping gifts, and more to do with eating the worm and doing body shots off an elf's back. Just the way baby Jeebus intended.

Read on for my questions -- and my actual posts on the companies' Facebook walls. With any luck -- and some help from my friendly local liquor store -- this will be one Navidad that's muy feliz. Bottoms up, muchachos!

El Jimador

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The post:


The post:


The post:

Last week, Zolton placed an order for lulz with Harry and David, SkyMall, Lillian Vernon and Hammacher Schlemmer. Want to join in the prank? Click the links to see each real-life Facebook post, and comment or 'Like' them to generate more buzz. Or visit Zolton's own Facebook page!

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