Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
Site Search:
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

« Gone, But Not Fishin' | Main | First!!!1!eleventy! »

The Doofus Is In! And Out Again

To anyone still interested in eyeballing this corner of the interweb -- welcome! I'm not quite in a position to offer regular doses of tomfoolery again quite yet, but I thought I'd update anyone wandering by for a peek.

Mostly, I wanted to explain that I have not, in fact, been completely idle during my hiatus, sitting naked in the bathtub eating bonbons and twiddling various appendages. No, sir.

(For one thing, I don't even like bonbons. If I were going down that road, it'd be Hostess Ho-Hos all the way. Ho-Hos are absolutely the ideal naked bathtub twiddling snack, bar none. I'm afraid I've given this rather a lot of thought. And I'm just as creeped out as you are about it.

Moving right along.)

"There are only so many places I'm willing to cram a rabbit, even for the purposes of hypothetical prestidigitation."

The point is, I've actually been keeping rather busy, and some of that business involved writing. Which I will now deftly point you towards, in lieu of regular updates here for a little while longer. See how I did that? You were watching my right hand, and -- presto wowo! -- suddenly, the rabbit emerges from my left hand instead. Or I pull it from behind your ear, or a top hat, or a baking dish or something. There are only so many places I'm willing to cram a rabbit, even for the purposes of hypothetical prestidigitation.

Let's just point you to the writing, and forget this 'bunny stuffing' business ever sullied our reunion, agreed? Good.

First, as in the recent past, I've been squirting words semi-regularly onto the pages at uber-baseball hot spot Bugs & Cranks. Many of those words have to do with the Atlanta Braves, and some recent ones have referenced ousted closer and pants-stretcher extraordinaire Bob Wickman, unabashed first baseman fanboy-ism, and Bobby Cox, one of few men who's been thrown out of more ballparks than I have. If baseball's your thing, 'B&C' is your place.

The other piece of preposterous prose is actually available at one of my favorite comedy websites, ZUG.com, where I've spent many an evening, weekend, early morning, and national holiday giggling at the gags therein.

(But never during work hours. That's my story, and if you tell my boss any different, I'll show up at your office and pants you in a staff meeting. Don't go there, Poindexter.)

At any rate, the good folks at ZUG -- most especially good folk John, who runs the joint -- saw fit to commission and feature a three-piece series dealing with online dating. And serial killers.

If ever there were 'two great tastes that taste great together', that's got to be them. You can argue for PB & J or the Olsen twins all you want; it's e-love and mass murderers in my book. Or at least in my mini-serial, which can be perused here:

Monster Love, Volume I

Monster Love, Part the Second

Monster Love, the Grisly Conclusion

That's it for now. Hopefully, I'll be back to a regular drivel-dropping schedule relatively soon, but for the moment, the doofus is officially out again. Take care. Stay in school. And spay and neuter those pets. Ciao.





Permalink | Comments (4)






Comments

Hi, Good to see some updates here. Look forward to when you step out of your self-imposed retirement and spew out your regular stuff for us, your regular readers.

Hi, I read your serial-killer-personal-ads prank at zug.com, pretty funny stuff! Next time you could do it posing as corporate CEOs like those from enron. Greets from Sweden.

You are lying!!!!! I have proof!!! When I/Imeanyou eat a ho-ho naked, crumbles of chocolaty goodness always fall off the snack cake and land on said appendages.

Therefore it is NOT the perfect naked bathtub snack food! Ha! Busted! Admit the truth or are you too asacred? (that would be afraid and scared combined for you in the not knowing)

Okay so it's going on a month. Shirley you aren't that busy. I know, stop calling you Shirley.

Have a great weekend, goofball!

P.S. Go CUBS!


August 29 for a last blog. Why don't you call it a "slog". Why bother. Do you really only post once a month. Yawn.....

Post a comment

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Science:
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks


Me on Apartments:
  Author Page


Three Wee Tweets:
Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers (70)
A Doofus Is Me (203)
Articles 'n' Zines (74)
Audience Participation (35)
Awkward Conversations (176)
Bits About Blogging (168)
Bitter Old Man Rants (50)
Blasts from My Past (78)
Cars 'n' Drivers (60)
Dog Drivel (78)
Eek!Cards (267)
Foodstuff Fluff (116)
Fun with Words! (71)
Googlicious! (27)
Grooming Gaffes (88)
Just Life (238)
Loopy Lists (33)
Making Fun of Jerks (59)
Marketing Weenies (66)
Married and a Moron (185)
Miscellaneous Nonsense (62)
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig (84)
Sleep, and Lack Thereof (34)
TV & Movies & Games, O My! (101)
Tales from the Stage (74)
Tasty Beverages (29)
The Happy Homeowner (81)
Vacations 'n' Holidays (134)
Weird for the Sake of Weird (71)
Whither the Weather (40)
Wicked Pissah Bahstan (49)
Wide World o' Sports (124)
Work, Work, Work (206)

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

Listed on BlogShares

Top Blogs

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved