Where the Hell Was I?: Archives

Category Archives:

Entry Archives

Jun 14, 2009: Angling for Apartments
Jun 07, 2009: Weekend Werind: Melts in Your Mouth, Not in Your Browser?
Jun 05, 2009: The Cross-Wired Crackpot
Jun 01, 2009: Not So Sincerely Yours
May 29, 2009: My Cup Runneth Empty
May 27, 2009: I'm Just Here to See the Heel-er
May 24, 2009: Weekend Werind: (Real E)State of the Union
May 21, 2009: Make a U-Turn, Then Ask Someone Who Knows
May 19, 2009: Walk It Off, Doofus
May 15, 2009: Choosy Dog Moms Choose Everything, Eventually
May 14, 2009: Il(lin') Postino
May 10, 2009: Weekend Werind: Bean(town)ie Babies
May 09, 2009: The 'Have It Your Way' Warrior
May 07, 2009: Home Staging on Several Dimes
May 04, 2009: A Foot Divided Cannot Stand, Particularly
May 03, 2009: Weekend Werind: Screwup in Aisle Three
May 01, 2009: Just the Tickets
Apr 27, 2009: Caulk Blocked
Apr 26, 2009: Weekend Werind: Hot Times Call for Soft Balls
Apr 22, 2009: I'll Step Into Your Parlor, Said the Painter to the Fly
Apr 20, 2009: A Commution Pollution Solution
Apr 19, 2009: Weekend Werind: Patriot's Day Redux
Apr 16, 2009: Ask Not What You Can Do for Me, Sparky
Apr 15, 2009: Wrong on Red
Apr 12, 2009: Weekend Werind: Milestone'd!
Apr 08, 2009: Perfect Words, Imperfect Timing
Apr 06, 2009: Testing for Dummies, for Dummies
Apr 05, 2009: Weekend Werind: Redecorator's Blues
Apr 02, 2009: Work You With I Like! Many Times Friend Now!
Mar 31, 2009: Maybe It's the New Ford Flush-O-Matic
Mar 29, 2009: Weekend Werind: There's Plenty of Crying in Basketball
Mar 27, 2009: The Home of Tomorrow, Available the Day After Tomorrow
Mar 26, 2009: Mystery Stutter Theater 3000
Mar 24, 2009: That's Smoooooooooth!
Mar 22, 2009: Weekend Werind: Back to the Old EtWYCPR
Mar 20, 2009: Who's Hungry for Whatever the Hell We Think of Next?
Mar 19, 2009: With Friends Like These, Who Needs Doctors?
Mar 18, 2009: You Think Misty May Had These Problems?
Mar 17, 2009: There's No Line in My Budget Spreadsheet for This
Mar 15, 2009: Weekend Werind: The Patron Saint of Stouts
Mar 13, 2009: Realtorese, Translated
Mar 12, 2009: A Good Walk Soiled?
Mar 11, 2009: Nothing to Sneeze At
Mar 10, 2009: One Sure Way to Be Remembered
Mar 08, 2009: Weekend Werind: Behind the Times
Mar 06, 2009: Boxing with Pandora
Mar 05, 2009: Jehovah'd!
Mar 03, 2009: The Bald-Bellied Beast
Mar 02, 2009: From Doggie Bag to Dog House
Mar 01, 2009: Weekend Werind: Snow Blows, and So Does Snow
Feb 27, 2009: The Early Bird Can Go to Hell
Feb 26, 2009: Food Court Follies
Feb 25, 2009: Getting a Move-On?
Feb 24, 2009: Five Years Down, Five Minutes to Go?
Feb 23, 2009: Mardi Party Hardy
Feb 22, 2009: Weekend Werind: Barking Up an Old Tree
Feb 20, 2009: S'No Boarding Like Snowboarding
Feb 19, 2009: Change for a Knuckle(Head)
Feb 18, 2009: Husband? What Husband?
Feb 16, 2009: (Dirty) Clothes Make the Man
Feb 15, 2009: Weekend Werind: Tales of the TiVo
Feb 13, 2009: Who Can Brown Screw for You?
Feb 12, 2009: A Bum Skier
Feb 11, 2009: Like Any Old Tom, Dick or Hairy
Feb 10, 2009: These Bucks Aren't Made for Strippin'
Feb 09, 2009: Gym Less-Than-Dandy
Feb 07, 2009: Weekend Werind: Love, Factually
Feb 06, 2009: TB, or Not TB?
Feb 05, 2009: Sickened, Not Stirred
Feb 04, 2009: Tales from the CVS
Feb 03, 2009: Nice Guys Finish Assed
Feb 02, 2009: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Squash, But Couldn't Find in the Remedial Class Pamphlet
Feb 01, 2009: Weekend Werind: Stupor Bowl Sunday
Jan 30, 2009: Changing My Tunes
Jan 29, 2009: Error: Does Not Commute
Jan 28, 2009: Not a Creature Is Stirring
Jan 27, 2009: Bearing the Bull
Jan 26, 2009: The Porch, the Putz, His Pooch and Her Pooper
Jan 25, 2009: Weekend Werind: A Standup Kind of Guy
Jan 23, 2009: Bowling Overtime
Jan 22, 2009: Selling My Soul-a for Granola
Jan 21, 2009: Terms of Undearment
Jan 20, 2009: Snow Way In
Jan 19, 2009: That Soap Won't Help You Where We're Headed, Bub
Jan 18, 2009: Weekend Werind: The Things I Feel
Jan 16, 2009: Musical Memos: For Those About to Rock
Jan 15, 2009: Thanks for the Memory (Card)
Jan 14, 2009: Smile and Say, 'Freeze!'
Jan 13, 2009: The Office Desk, v2.0
Jan 12, 2009: I'll Give You $30 If You Muzzle Her First
Jan 11, 2009: Weekend Werind: Everybody Out of the Pool Hall
Jan 09, 2009: The Extermination Revelation
Jan 08, 2009: Pipe, Pipe, Douche!
Jan 07, 2009: Outshone By a Phone
Jan 06, 2009: Hi, Gas Pumper!
Jan 05, 2009: Clothes Make the Maniac
Jan 04, 2009: Weekend Werind: Matrimonial Memories
Jan 02, 2009: And One for My Mouth, Please -- Size 16EEE
Jan 01, 2009: Where in the World Is Charlie Sandiego?
Dec 31, 2008: The Worst Commercial... Ever
Dec 30, 2008: Dinner: Inconceivable
Dec 29, 2008: I'd Rather Be Smart Ice Than Dumb Ice
Dec 28, 2008: Weekend Werind: Back to Base Camp
Dec 26, 2008: Meat the Blogger
Dec 24, 2008: Phone(less) Home
Dec 23, 2008: We're Packing for a Thwacking
Dec 22, 2008: The Dinnertime Disease Dilemma
Dec 20, 2008: Weekend Werind: The Posts of Christmas Past
Dec 19, 2008: Just Call Me 'Cresty LaRue'
Dec 18, 2008: The Bestest (Worstest) Present Ever
Dec 17, 2008: Lights! Camera! Auction!
Dec 16, 2008: A Hurtin' from a Curtain
Dec 15, 2008: The Swearing of the Lawyers
Dec 14, 2008: Weekend Werind: Cliche-O-Matic
Dec 12, 2008: If You Don't Know, You Can Always Axiom
Dec 11, 2008: 'Tis the (Safety) Season
Dec 10, 2008: In Bed with Advertisers
Dec 09, 2008: Bear-ly Hanging On?
Dec 08, 2008: Hungry for Handel
Dec 06, 2008: Weekend Werind: Shitbox Edition
Dec 05, 2008: Caught with My Paints Down
Dec 04, 2008: You Love Eighteen Years and What Do You Get?
Dec 03, 2008: Romancing the Stalk
Dec 02, 2008: It's Not Delivery, It's De Jackass
Dec 01, 2008: Your Tax Dollars, Hard at... Something
Nov 30, 2008: Recipe for Dog-saster
Nov 28, 2008: Freaky Forensics Friday
Nov 27, 2008: A Thankless Effort
Nov 26, 2008: A Hazy Shock of Winter
Nov 25, 2008: Sock It to Me
Nov 24, 2008: Terrific Tour, Taxing Tasting
Nov 22, 2008: Bon Appe-TV
Nov 21, 2008: Now I See You... Now Can I Go, Please?
Nov 20, 2008: Dirty Bird Redux
Nov 19, 2008: Doofus on Line One
Nov 18, 2008: Back to the Drivel Board
Feb 20, 2008: That's Not 'Love' In the Air, Mister
Feb 19, 2008: Sick and (Re-)Tired
Feb 05, 2008: Two-Ply Trouble Brewing
Feb 02, 2008: I Recommend You Go to Hell
Jan 30, 2008: Spinal Tee, Not for Me
Jan 23, 2008: Veterinary Vexations
Jan 16, 2008: Rarely Silky, Never Smooth
Jan 10, 2008: What, Too Far?
Jan 09, 2008: Yo Quiero... Kicking Your Ass
Jan 09, 2008: Scone Appetit
Dec 13, 2007: A Cold Affront Moving In
Dec 10, 2007: Troubles with TiVos
Nov 30, 2007: The Shaves and Shave-Nots
Nov 22, 2007: The Turkey Timeline: A Thanksgiving Day Misadventure
Nov 20, 2007: Back Care for Boneheads
Nov 18, 2007: Regular Programming, Interrupted
Nov 14, 2007: Better Eats... and Amazinger Feats?
Nov 10, 2007: The Sickly Susie Saga
Nov 07, 2007: Out of the Frying Pan...
Nov 04, 2007: Mnemonically Moronic
Nov 02, 2007: First!!!1!eleventy!
Aug 29, 2007: The Doofus Is In! And Out Again
Aug 05, 2007: Gone, But Not Fishin'
Aug 04, 2007: What I Did On My Summer Vacation
Jul 27, 2007: Amsterdamned If You Do
Jul 25, 2007: A Cottonelle Conundrum
Jul 21, 2007: Two Tricky Tickets
Jul 17, 2007: You're Going... Where?
Jul 12, 2007: Bitter, Bitter Pills
Jul 09, 2007: An All-Star All-Star Lineup
Jul 05, 2007: Shampoozled!
Jul 02, 2007: Feeling Fenway
Jun 26, 2007: The Spam Giveth
Jun 25, 2007: Food Pas
Jun 19, 2007: Rendezvous with a Stranger
Jun 17, 2007: Another Not-So-Hot Idea Gone Wrong
Jun 11, 2007: O Henry? Oh, Brother!
Jun 08, 2007: These Boots Are Made for What, Now?
Jun 06, 2007: Why, This Office Is Juuuuuust... Wrong
Jun 01, 2007: The 'Crack' of the Bat?
May 28, 2007: The View from the 'Chief' Seats
May 25, 2007: 'Tis the Sweating Season
May 20, 2007: The Tale of the Tricky Toilet
May 15, 2007: Parking is for the Birds
May 11, 2007: Sweet and Sour Summer
May 08, 2007: Somewhere Between Hollywood and Handycams
May 03, 2007: The Keys to My Job
May 02, 2007: A Baseball Triple Play
Apr 29, 2007: Lust in Translation?
Apr 26, 2007: The Blind and the Bristly
Apr 23, 2007: Jack Bauer Goes to the Grocery Store
Apr 21, 2007: The Pants of Springtime
Apr 17, 2007: Ye Olde Passengere Bille of Rightes
Apr 16, 2007: Aaaand We're Back
Apr 11, 2007: Grouch, Interrupted
Apr 09, 2007: Leaving La Lunch-a Loca
Apr 07, 2007: The Law of Diminishing Redesigns
Apr 06, 2007: The Near-Perfect Pants
Apr 03, 2007: Rat Racing
Mar 30, 2007: McSweeney's 7, Charlie 0
Mar 29, 2007: Veggie Tales
Mar 26, 2007: With Friends Like These, Who Needs Friends?
Mar 24, 2007: The Flap About Naps
Mar 21, 2007: A Cataclysmic Contest Entry
Mar 19, 2007: Waiters Never Prosper
Mar 17, 2007: The Habanero Brouhaha
Mar 16, 2007: Snow Business
Mar 13, 2007: Tournament? What Tournament?
Mar 11, 2007: A New (Ti)Vocation
Mar 09, 2007: Getting a Move On?
Mar 06, 2007: Too Stupid for Cupid
Mar 05, 2007: Monday Meeting Misfortunes
Mar 02, 2007: The Kook Catches a Cold
Feb 28, 2007: Call the Rattler Roto-Rooter
Feb 26, 2007: A Scandalous 'Scandal'
Feb 23, 2007: All Mixed Up
Feb 20, 2007: Rocking the Roll
Feb 18, 2007: Color Me Shampoozled
Feb 16, 2007: Talking with the Tax Man
Feb 14, 2007: Love Has Been Detected in the Lower Troposphere
Feb 12, 2007: Snow Business
Feb 10, 2007: Bugs & Cranks. Not Cranky. Or Buggy.
Feb 08, 2007: Say What with Flowers?
Feb 06, 2007: Into the Flix Mix
Feb 05, 2007: The Looming of the Lambs?
Feb 02, 2007: R-O-C-K-B-O-T-T-O-M on a Triple Word Score
Jan 31, 2007: Straighten Up and Fly Right
Jan 29, 2007: Woofin' It
Jan 26, 2007: The Dilemma of the Double Parker
Jan 24, 2007: The Only Thing We Have to Fear...
Jan 22, 2007: Toothbrush, or Torture Device?
Jan 20, 2007: Thoughts on Tots
Jan 18, 2007: The High Flying Falcon
Jan 16, 2007: Buffet Appetit
Jan 15, 2007: TMI on MLK
Jan 12, 2007: A Touchy Subject
Jan 10, 2007: My, This Is a Tasty Meeting!
Jan 08, 2007: High-Octane Anxiety
Jan 04, 2007: My Pooch, the Pensioner
Jan 02, 2007: You Say You Want a Resolution?
Dec 16, 2006: It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas
Dec 12, 2006: The Vengeance of the Vending Machine
Dec 11, 2006: A Desktop in Winter
Dec 08, 2006: Nutcracked
Dec 07, 2006: How I Feel About... Marshmallows
Dec 06, 2006: The Five Stages of Moo Goo Gai Pan
Dec 05, 2006: The Chew Flip Flip-Out
Dec 04, 2006: The Weak A-Head
Nov 29, 2006: Gym Dandy
Nov 28, 2006: The Eyes Don't Have It
Nov 27, 2006: Tis the e-Season
Nov 22, 2006: Don't Look, Ma -- No Hands!
Nov 21, 2006: Holiday Hooky Is Here Again
Nov 20, 2006: The Fool of Faneuil Hall
Nov 17, 2006: Simp with a Limp
Nov 16, 2006: The Particulars of Parenthood
Nov 15, 2006: Functionally Outfoxed
Nov 14, 2006: Someone at the Ding-Dong's Door
Nov 13, 2006: I Left My Job in San Francisco?
Nov 08, 2006: Not the 'San Francisco Treat', Exactly
Nov 07, 2006: The Four-Hour Election
Nov 06, 2006: There's No Bodies Like Show Bodies
Nov 03, 2006: Mother Nature Can't Fool This Fool
Nov 02, 2006: Game Plans for Geezers
Nov 01, 2006: Interlude with a Vampire
Oct 31, 2006: These Treats Are Tricky
Oct 30, 2006: McSweeney's 6, Charlie 0
Oct 27, 2006: The Dog Decipherer
Oct 26, 2006: The Not-At-All-Natural Weight Loss Solution
Oct 25, 2006: Ordered Spice is Twice as Nice
Oct 24, 2006: How to Lose a Geek in 10 Words (Or Less!)
Oct 23, 2006: 'Time' Is Not On My Side
Oct 20, 2006: Better 'Late' Than Severed
Oct 19, 2006: Banking on a Theory
Oct 18, 2006: Leaf That Car Alone!
Oct 17, 2006: The 'Call' of Nature
Oct 16, 2006: Athletics for the Rest of Us
Oct 13, 2006: What's the Not-So-Good Word?
Oct 12, 2006: Let Your Fingers Do the Stalking?
Oct 11, 2006: Life Lessons Learned From My Underwear
Oct 10, 2006: A Duck on Borrowed Time
Oct 09, 2006: (Net)Working for the Weekend
Oct 06, 2006: Three Weddings and a Fable
Oct 05, 2006: Coach as Coach Can
Oct 04, 2006: Elixir in the Rear
Oct 03, 2006: Denim? I've Never Even Seen 'Em!
Oct 02, 2006: Game, Set... Salad?
Sep 29, 2006: The Importance of Being Boston
Sep 28, 2006: You Can Never Be Patronized Enough
Sep 27, 2006: Where Are They Now? Right Where I Want Them!
Sep 26, 2006: There's No Fun in Poking
Sep 25, 2006: No Allegiance to Pledges
Sep 24, 2006: Too Many Secrets
Sep 22, 2006: Talkin' 'Bout Tapas
Sep 21, 2006: Charlie-Style Grammar, Lesson Three
Sep 20, 2006: A Maternal Dilemma
Sep 19, 2006: Here I Come to Save... Eh, Forget It
Sep 18, 2006: How I Feel About... Libraries
Sep 17, 2006: Sunday Feature Fun
Sep 15, 2006: Making Meals and Missing Meetings
Sep 14, 2006: Who's on First? You Don't Wanna Know
Sep 13, 2006: Tacky Tunes for Turkey Toys
Sep 12, 2006: A Rash Decision
Sep 11, 2006: Summertime Soothers
Sep 10, 2006: Feasting Fancily
Sep 08, 2006: Play Twice, Pay the Price
Sep 07, 2006: Drive Softly, and Carry a Big Bag of Milkbones
Sep 06, 2006: Politics for the People
Sep 05, 2006: The Art of Athletic Enlightenment
Sep 04, 2006: None Out of Three Is Very Bad
Sep 03, 2006: Sunday, Bloody Sunday (Drivers)
Sep 01, 2006: Friday Photo Foolishness
Aug 31, 2006: Less Is More... Lucrative
Aug 30, 2006: Mascot Mayhem
Aug 29, 2006: An Incident with the Condiments
Aug 28, 2006: Gifts That Keep On Not Giving Yet
Aug 27, 2006: They're Baaa-aaaack!
Aug 25, 2006: PB & Jilted
Aug 24, 2006: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Pluto!
Aug 23, 2006: The Muppet Picayune, Page Twelve: Personal Ads
Aug 22, 2006: Strawberry Flanks Forever
Aug 21, 2006: Just Don't Ask Me to Bunt
Aug 20, 2006: Worship at the Church of the Aluminum Bat
Aug 18, 2006: The Kitchen Responds: The Tale of the Teapot
Aug 17, 2006: A Potent Purple Potion
Aug 16, 2006: Nice Guys Finish... Ahead of Me
Aug 15, 2006: Talk Smack, or Step Back?
Aug 14, 2006: Hiiii-ya-WATHA! Mojito! I-KEEEEE-ah!!
Aug 13, 2006: Schmucks on a Plane
Aug 11, 2006: Nature Calling, Can You Hold?
Aug 10, 2006: At Least I Got to Third Base
Aug 09, 2006: The Height of Boarddom
Aug 08, 2006: Driven to Jeers
Aug 07, 2006: I'm Blind; Pass the Celery, Please
Aug 06, 2006: The Wrongest Yard
Aug 04, 2006: One Mucked-Up Morning
Aug 03, 2006: The Wok of Shame?
Aug 02, 2006: I Never Knew I Knew So Much!
Aug 01, 2006: Going Up, Running Down
Jul 31, 2006: The Fire Man Cometh
Jul 30, 2006: Goofball at the Garage
Jul 28, 2006: Once Upon a Commute Dreary
Jul 27, 2006: Road Trip to the Evil Empire
Jul 26, 2006: Empty Head, Empty Tank
Jul 25, 2006: Curb Your... Ectoplasm?
Jul 24, 2006: Charlielocks and the Three Tards
Jul 23, 2006: Less-Than-Special Deliveries
Jul 21, 2006: Another Sort of 'Naughty Bits'
Jul 20, 2006: Backtalk from the Batter's Box
Jul 19, 2006: Questionable Questions
Jul 18, 2006: Live Nude Gorls!
Jul 17, 2006: Diary of a Disneyworld Mickey
Jul 16, 2006: The Talented Mr. Charlie
Jul 14, 2006: Random Snippet Friday
Jul 13, 2006: A Putz with a Pool Cue
Jul 12, 2006: Pumped Up, Tapped Out
Jul 12, 2006: A Little Lightning Strike Never Killed Anybody... Much
Jul 10, 2006: Just Think of the New 'Smilies' We'll Have
Jul 07, 2006: Putting the Squeeze On
Jul 06, 2006: Bad Issues, and Good Issues
Jul 05, 2006: Miss Manners Would Be Mortified
Jul 04, 2006: Barbecued Nightmares and the Potato Salad Shakes
Jul 03, 2006: Love Means Never Having to Carry Prada
Jun 30, 2006: 'Be Prepared' to Party
Jun 29, 2006: It's My Party, I'll Play Bridge If I Want To
Jun 28, 2006: With This RAM Chip, I Thee Wed?
Jun 27, 2006: Game, Set, Rocking Chair
Jun 26, 2006: Wherein I Patronize the Arts
Jun 25, 2006: The Best a Man Has Got
Jun 23, 2006: April Showers Bring a Dilemma
Jun 22, 2006: Notes on a Notebook
Jun 21, 2006: Weirdo in the Washroom
Jun 20, 2006: War of the Warblers
Jun 19, 2006: The Chowderhead Cheerleader
Jun 17, 2006: Three Years Is a Charm
Jun 16, 2006: The Baggage of Baggage
Jun 15, 2006: Some Rats Race Further Than Others
Jun 14, 2006: One Habit of Highly Unproductive People
Jun 13, 2006: The Hyperactive Hypochondriac
Jun 12, 2006: No Reply Is Good Reply
Jun 11, 2006: Back to the World of Dreams
Jun 09, 2006: Pictures from Paradise
Jun 08, 2006: Home Is Where the Heat Isn't
Jun 07, 2006: Tomorrow's Only a Cliche Away
Jun 06, 2006: Safety First!
Jun 05, 2006: Can I Quote You on That?
Jun 04, 2006: Because No One Wants to Blog Alone
Jun 03, 2006: Yuks from Yesteryear
Jun 02, 2006: The Ugly Mug Menagerie
Jun 01, 2006: You Won't Even Miss Me
May 31, 2006: The Third Day's the Charm
May 30, 2006: Occupational Hazards
May 29, 2006: My Medicated Mutt
May 28, 2006: Vacations Are a Snap!
May 26, 2006: Primo Prime-Time Programming
May 25, 2006: It's the Little Things That Kill
May 24, 2006: Get My Hearing Aid, Ma -- The Band's A-Playing!
May 23, 2006: The Little Ingenuities That Could
May 22, 2006: That's Some Tasty Television!
May 20, 2006: Lack of Words Can Always Hurt Me
May 19, 2006: Maybe It's Crammed Full of French Fried Pertaters
May 18, 2006: Eat It and Weep!
May 17, 2006: To the Golden Retriever in Kennel #8 at the Local Animal Shelter
May 16, 2006: The Right Thing to Do, and a Scary Way to Do It
May 15, 2006: Those $@!%ing Meetings!
May 14, 2006: Indecision Sunday
May 12, 2006: Imaginary Catalog: 'Wedding Cake Figurines'
May 11, 2006: Look, Ma! It Was on Sale!
May 10, 2006: Bump, Set... Spastic Hernia?
May 09, 2006: You Have the Right to Veal Parmigiana
May 08, 2006: Hot Corner Halfwit
May 07, 2006: Speed-Dating Diaries: The Jolly Green Giant
May 06, 2006: Got Issues? Well, Go Get Some!
May 04, 2006: Is That a Keycard in Your Pocket...
May 03, 2006: McSweeney's 5, Charlie 0
May 02, 2006: Birthday Ill Wishes
May 01, 2006: E.F. Hutton, Where Art Thou?
Apr 30, 2006: A Mythical Season
Apr 29, 2006: Knuckling Under
Apr 28, 2006: The Answering Machine Is Teething
Apr 27, 2006: The Post That Wasn't
Apr 27, 2006: Damn, It Must Feel Good to Be a Gangsta
Apr 26, 2006: The Wowsy-Wowsy Woo-Woo Web
Apr 25, 2006: The Five Hundred Dollar Commute
Apr 24, 2006: Good Eats, Amazing Feats
Apr 23, 2006: A Pantry Too Far
Apr 22, 2006: Lost in a Fantasy World
Apr 21, 2006: Greetings, Grumpy!
Apr 20, 2006: How I Feel About... Orthodontists?
Apr 19, 2006: Three Prongs for a Doctor
Apr 18, 2006: More Grammar, Charlie-Style
Apr 17, 2006: Alzheimer's for Algernon
Apr 16, 2006: Making a List, Wrecking It Twice
Apr 16, 2006: Cliches Ole!
Apr 14, 2006: A Dilemma in Denim
Apr 13, 2006: Kings for a Day
Apr 12, 2006: You Asked for It, Buddy!
Apr 11, 2006: Bio Hazards
Apr 10, 2006: Are You There, God? It's Me, Monday
Apr 08, 2006: Buy Yourself Something Nice, Birthday Girl
Apr 07, 2006: Caller ID? Not for Me!
Apr 06, 2006: La Celebracion Mas Fina
Apr 05, 2006: The Postman Wore Mukluks
Apr 04, 2006: A Shitbox Showdown
Apr 03, 2006: Spring Forward, Screw You!
Apr 02, 2006: Doggone... Dog Back!
Apr 01, 2006: How I Feel About... Hippos
Mar 31, 2006: No Decongesting on Company Time
Mar 30, 2006: My Dog, the Bonehead
Mar 29, 2006: Call My Singing 'A Crapella'
Mar 28, 2006: Dances with Dysentery
Mar 27, 2006: A Cubicle with a View -- and More
Mar 26, 2006: Seats Fit for a King
Mar 25, 2006: Leaving the Chips on the Table
Mar 24, 2006: McSweeney's 4, Charlie 0
Mar 23, 2006: Adventures in Pottysitting
Mar 22, 2006: It's What I Oughtn't to Do, But I Do Anyway
Mar 22, 2006: You've Got... PROBLEMS!
Mar 21, 2006: Truck Appetit
Mar 20, 2006: Play Whereever You Want, Alfie -- Just Don't Hurt Nobody!
Mar 19, 2006: Backdrafts and Bus Routes
Mar 18, 2006: Hi Ho Smuckers, Away!
Mar 17, 2006: These Irish Eyes Are Thirsting
Mar 16, 2006: A Maddening March
Mar 15, 2006: Yay, Rosannadannas! Go, Team!
Mar 14, 2006: A Photo-Phone Phiasco
Mar 13, 2006: Cuddyer? I Barely Even Cud-Know Her!
Mar 12, 2006: Where the Hell Did Everyone Go?
Mar 11, 2006: The Last List Left
Mar 10, 2006: I'm Here, I'm There, I'm Everywhere!
Mar 09, 2006: A Doocing Averted?
Mar 08, 2006: Eight-Question Dating: The Shortcut to Love
Mar 07, 2006: The Meanings of Life, Part Two
Mar 06, 2006: The Seat of My Discomfort
Mar 05, 2006: I'm Movin' On Up!'
Mar 03, 2006: Forget the Napkin -- Gimme a Tarp!
Mar 01, 2006: The Five Stages of 'So-and-Sos'
Feb 28, 2006: McSweeney's 3, Charlie 0
Feb 27, 2006: New Beginnings, Same Old Charlie
Feb 25, 2006: Flying the Unfriendly Skies
Feb 23, 2006: The Art of Rationalization
Feb 22, 2006: McSweeney's 2, Charlie 0
Feb 20, 2006: Do I Care Enough to Risk a Grandpa Wedgie?
Feb 19, 2006: Missing the Point(s) of Marriage?
Feb 16, 2006: Smartass 101: A Study in Snark
Feb 14, 2006: The Monitor Is Free; the Hernia Surgery Will Cost You
Feb 12, 2006: I Was Voted 'Least Likely to Be Invited to Class Reunions'
Feb 10, 2006: I'll Hold the Door, But Nothing Else!
Feb 08, 2006: Valentine's Day for Dummies
Feb 06, 2006: Brown? Bubbly? Bueller?... BUELLER?
Feb 05, 2006: Super Bowls Ain't What They Used to Be
Feb 03, 2006: So... Can I Have a Raise, Then?
Feb 01, 2006: I Bet It Tastes Like Apple Juice
Jan 31, 2006: It's Nine AM; Do You Know Where Your Blog Is?
Jan 29, 2006: Farewell, Sweet Sundays
Jan 27, 2006: Does It Smell Like Kibble In Here?
Jan 25, 2006: How I Feel About... Pinatas
Jan 24, 2006: I Sold My Soul for a Buck Oh Nine
Jan 22, 2006: Look Ma, the Weekend Finally Started!
Jan 18, 2006: The 'New Generation' Is Parched, Dammit!
Jan 16, 2006: Don't Dream It's Ever (Going to Work Again)
Jan 14, 2006: Now You Sumo, Now You Don't
Jan 11, 2006: Whatever 'It' Is, Get Your Filthy Hands Off It!
Jan 09, 2006: Christmas in January
Jan 08, 2006: Everybody's Not-Working for the Weekend
Jan 06, 2006: Bring Me Your Tired, Your Horny, Your Googling Masses
Jan 04, 2006: Bob Vila Can Suck My Claw Hammer
Jan 02, 2006: McSweeneys 1, Charlie 0
Dec 31, 2005: 'Tis the Listing Season
Dec 29, 2005: Where's My Porridge, Bitches?
Dec 20, 2005: Away-From-Home for the Holidays
Dec 19, 2005: Tannenbaummed Out
Dec 18, 2005: This Weekend is Over!
Dec 15, 2005: Features Come, Features Go
Dec 13, 2005: How I Feel About... Pirates
Dec 11, 2005: Move Over, Rambo!
Dec 08, 2005: Why Imogene Coca? I Have No Idea
Dec 06, 2005: Saturday with the Siblings
Dec 04, 2005: Hut! Hut! Brrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dec 02, 2005: Several Nights After Christmas...
Nov 29, 2005: Nails Are Tough!
Nov 28, 2005: Thanks for Nothing, Thanksgiving!
Nov 23, 2005: Turkey Time in the Big Apple
Nov 22, 2005: 'Cross Words', Indeed
Nov 21, 2005: Maybe a Cold Shower Would Be Easier
Nov 19, 2005: I Coulda Been a Believah!
Nov 16, 2005: Just Wait Till '07 -- That'll Be Heaven!
Nov 14, 2005: Seeing Red at Seeing Red
Nov 12, 2005: Where the Hell Is the 'Order'?
Nov 10, 2005: Hair Today, 'Hairrendous' Tomorrow
Nov 08, 2005: The Battle of the Bulb
Nov 06, 2005: I'm an Athletic Supporter!
Nov 04, 2005: The Percy Bysshe Shelley of Spam
Nov 02, 2005: Something Icky This Way Comes
Oct 31, 2005: Apparently, My Vote Doesn't 'Rock'
Oct 29, 2005: Jonesin' for the Jack-in
Oct 26, 2005: Extra Pepperoni -- and Make It Snappy!
Oct 24, 2005: One Flip Through the Dial
Oct 22, 2005: What Do I Know? I'm Only a Neptune
Oct 19, 2005: Stay Away from My Car, Dammit!
Oct 17, 2005: Oh, the Things You'll Learn at the Pizza Joint!
Oct 15, 2005: The Dealership of the Beast
Oct 13, 2005: Life -- Don't Talk to Me About Life
Oct 12, 2005: Gracias, Senor Columbus!
Oct 08, 2005: Guinness at the Reception? What a Beautiful Ceremony!
Oct 06, 2005: Uncle Donald... Is That You?
Oct 04, 2005: Talk Is Cheap -- and Makes You Pee!
Oct 03, 2005: With This Booger, He Thee Weds
Oct 01, 2005: I'll Wear the Shirts, But I'm Not Gettin' on the Field
Sep 29, 2005: Open Letter to My Car
Sep 27, 2005: Peekaboo with 'Princess Paws'
Sep 26, 2005: In Space, No One Can Hear 'Two Thumbs Down'
Sep 25, 2005: Bailiff, What Were Those Charges Again?
Sep 22, 2005: I Think My Bic's Been Flicked
Sep 21, 2005: Whew, That Was Close!
Sep 19, 2005: I'll Stick With My 'Aspirin and Crippling Angst Omelette', Thanks
Sep 18, 2005: You Mean I Folded All These Dollar Bills for Nothing?
Sep 17, 2005: What's in a Name? Everything!
Sep 15, 2005: Exercise, Schmexercise... Who Brought the Cranberries?
Sep 13, 2005: A Healthy Heart Can Wait... Another Week, at Least
Sep 12, 2005: Kiss My Mud Flaps, Greasy!
Sep 11, 2005: Let This Be a Lesson to You, Dammit
Sep 08, 2005: That's Mister Stinkypants to You
Sep 07, 2005: Four Women, Three Stories, Two At-Risk Testes, and a Pampered Pooch!
Sep 05, 2005: Sweet Buttery Fudgy Weekend!
Sep 01, 2005: Too Cool for 'Back-to-School'
Aug 31, 2005: Oh, I Forgot: 'You May Want to See a Doctor Afterward'
Aug 30, 2005: I Never Knew I Was So Big in Michigan
Aug 29, 2005: Don't Like This Post? I've Got One Word for You...
Aug 27, 2005: Dinner Just Got Served
Aug 26, 2005: Only My Attire Is 'Appropriate'
Aug 24, 2005: Nom Appetit!
Aug 22, 2005: The Hall of Drivel is Full Again
Aug 21, 2005: Well, That Was Quick!
Aug 19, 2005: You Have Questions; I Have Orange Fingers
Aug 16, 2005: I'm Even Late for the Easy Ones
Aug 15, 2005: Just When You Thought You Couldn't Hate Him Any More...
Aug 13, 2005: Just Because It's Cliche Doesn't Mean It's Passe
Aug 10, 2005: A Post You'll Eventually Wish Was About Nothing
Aug 07, 2005: How About 'The One Where Christopher Walken Is All Creepy'?
Aug 04, 2005: Growling Over the Globe, Take Two
Aug 01, 2005: Hello, August!
Jul 30, 2005: Beep Beep! Beep Beep! Tttthhhhppppttt!
Jul 27, 2005: What's That, Lassie? You're a Useless Ball of Fur?
Jul 23, 2005: Mama Sez: 'Playthings Are the Debil!'
Jul 19, 2005: So Many Disappointed People!
Jul 16, 2005: Mmmmm... That's Zesty!
Jul 15, 2005: Thank Heaven for the Ides!
Jul 11, 2005: Conversation I Never Actually Had, #6,492
Jul 07, 2005: Just Let Me Sleep Another Twelve Hours, Okay?
Jul 05, 2005: Maybe Big Bird Took a Job in Maintenance?
Jul 03, 2005: Twelve Simple Rules for Sucking Less Than 'Eight Simple Rules...'
Jul 01, 2005: Where Is Everyone? Is It July Already?
Jun 30, 2005: Hey, Columbus Had His Problems, Too, You Know
Jun 28, 2005: I Think I Like This 'Lucky Pu-Pu' Place
Jun 27, 2005: Dude, Are the Roosters Even Up at That Hour?
Jun 25, 2005: Here's a News Flash: Kooky Headlines Tragically Orphaned!
Jun 23, 2005: What Do You Mean, I've Always Looked This Way?!
Jun 21, 2005: I Can Almost Smell the Pine Tar Now
Jun 19, 2005: Man, This Year is Gonna Be Hard
Jun 17, 2005: Really, Could the 'Twos' Get Any More Terrible?
Jun 16, 2005: I Knew I'd Forgotten Something
Jun 15, 2005: You Learn Something New Every Game
Jun 13, 2005: Kick It Up a Notch, Bitches! Bam!
Jun 12, 2005: Who Needs an Occasion to Buy a Nice Tie, Anyway?
Jun 10, 2005: Remind Me Never to Ask for Change in Austria
Jun 08, 2005: Who Turned the Weather Up to 'Broil'?
Jun 06, 2005: We Interrupt This Blog to Bring You...
Jun 05, 2005: Whatever the Question, 'Belligerent' Is Always the Answer
Jun 03, 2005: I'll Pat Your Backside, if You Pat My Backside Back
Jun 01, 2005: Is It June First Already?
May 30, 2005: Did I Really Say I'd Post Something Today?
May 29, 2005: Sundays Were Made for Tasty Carcasses
May 27, 2005: Say Hello to My Leetle Freend
May 25, 2005: That's a Lot of Candles on the Cake, Baby!
May 23, 2005: I Thought Work Was Supposed to Be Fun
May 22, 2005: Who's Hungry for Television?
May 20, 2005: Honestly, My Money Was on 'Leg Cooties'
May 19, 2005: Yes, I'm a Hopeless Romantic
May 18, 2005: Was It a Dream... or Did I Do That on Stage?
May 16, 2005: The Hopalong Blogger
May 15, 2005: Slacking Off for Sunday
May 14, 2005: Coming Soon to a Theatah Neah You
May 13, 2005: And Hey, If You Convert, You Can Marry 'Em Both!
May 12, 2005: Ever Hear of 'High Risk, Low Reward'?
May 10, 2005: Get Out of My Head!
May 09, 2005: My New Best Friend Shoots Silk Out His Ass
May 07, 2005: The Longest 'Day Off' Post You'll Ever Fricking Read
May 05, 2005: At Least I've Got Plenty of Post-Its
May 04, 2005: If I Were a Real Blogger... Maybe I'd Do Less Memes
May 02, 2005: I Don't Think So, Beermonger
May 01, 2005: Mayday, Mayday -- Taking it Easy on May Day
Apr 29, 2005: Tiptoe Through the Mailbag
Apr 28, 2005: Hey, Why Does the New Office Smell Like Asparagus?
Apr 27, 2005: It Feels Like a Firing... But Without All the Shame and Crying!
Apr 25, 2005: Move Over, Brawny, There's a New Towel in Town -- Now with Wings!
Apr 24, 2005: Anybody Got an Eight-Minute Fart Joke I Can Borrow?
Apr 23, 2005: Not the 'Warm Fuzzies' I Had in Mind
Apr 22, 2005: An Ill-Advised Sandwich
Apr 20, 2005: Maybe the Ladies Can Appreciate This, at Least
Apr 19, 2005: Who's Got the Weirdest-Assed Blog Posts?
Apr 17, 2005: Really, It Was Supposed to Be About Groceries
Apr 15, 2005: A Non-Taxing 'Tax Day' Post
Apr 14, 2005: Yes, I'm a Douchebag in 'Real Life', Too
Apr 14, 2005: Calling All Cluetards
Apr 12, 2005: The News Is So Much More Interesting in My World
Apr 10, 2005: Mondays Are for Make-Believe
Apr 09, 2005: If I Eight Your Five-Hole, Would You Six My Nine?
Apr 07, 2005: Day Job Douchebaggery
Apr 06, 2005: Eleven Questions, and Random Tomato Snark
Apr 05, 2005: My Kingdom for a Tasty Sub
Apr 03, 2005: A Sunday Night Quickie
Apr 01, 2005: April Foolishness... in Stereo, Even
Mar 31, 2005: I Don't Remember Getting 'Say Bizarre Shit to Me' Tattooed on My Forehead
Mar 29, 2005: I've Gotta Go Where? And Talk to Who? Wearing What?!
Mar 28, 2005: One Bunch of Helpful Readers Deserves...
Mar 27, 2005: Somehow, I Doubt a 'Knock-Knock' Joke Will Cut It
Mar 25, 2005: I Can Almost Smell the Fabric Softener Again
Mar 24, 2005: Dirty Laundry Never Felt So Good
Mar 22, 2005: Troubling Thoughts About Sandwiches
Mar 21, 2005: Sunday for the Scrapbook
Mar 19, 2005: It's March -- and I'm Mad!
Mar 17, 2005: Why Won't Anyone Believe Me?
Mar 16, 2005: I'm Not Sure I Have a 'Best Side'
Mar 15, 2005: The Best of Ides, the Worst of Ides
Mar 14, 2005: Is Las Vegas... Is Not Las Vegas
Mar 13, 2005: Obligitory Post-Vegas Weak-Assed Update
Mar 11, 2005: I Got Your 'City That Never Sleeps' Right Here, Manhattan!
Mar 10, 2005: Automotive Asininery
Mar 10, 2005: Technical Differiculties
Mar 09, 2005: Daddy, That's a Bunch of Baloney
Mar 08, 2005: No Thanks for the Memories
Mar 06, 2005: A Weekend to Remember
Mar 04, 2005: Lifestyles of the Poor and Fatuous
Mar 02, 2005: This Would Make Such a Lousy 'Cops' Episode
Mar 01, 2005: Yoiks! It's Zoiks!
Feb 28, 2005: I've Never Wanted a Head on a Stick So Badly
Feb 27, 2005: You'll Give Me Money to Do What, Again?
Feb 26, 2005: We Interrupt This Broadcast for... Jake
Feb 25, 2005: Now You Start It... Now You Don't!
Feb 24, 2005: 'Sick and Twisted' Beats 'Sickly', Any Day of the Week
Feb 22, 2005: Fame Doesn't Come Easy, You Know
Feb 21, 2005: Random Monday Madness
Feb 20, 2005: No Wonder Van Gogh Went Nuts
Feb 18, 2005: If You Toast Alone in a Forest, Does It Make a 'Clink'?
Feb 17, 2005: Just Another Way to Get Myself Fired
Feb 17, 2005: Looks Like a Late Night at the Office, Honey...
Feb 15, 2005: Millions of People... Aren't Reading This Blog
Feb 14, 2005: Flowers for Hooter-non
Feb 13, 2005: When Sports Cliches Attack!
Feb 12, 2005: Now Maybe If It Were the Other Kind of 'Cheesecake'...
Feb 11, 2005: I Thought It Was Awfully Quiet Around Here...
Feb 10, 2005: The Sweatpants of Opportunity
Feb 08, 2005: My Shameful Inadequacy Is Your 'Bonus Content'!
Feb 07, 2005: See What Mondays Do to Me?
Feb 06, 2005: Bad for Your Eyes and Your Brain, Apparently
Feb 04, 2005: I Think This Post Says a Lot About Me... But I Hope Not
Feb 03, 2005: Maybe My 'Funny' Is Buried Under There Somewhere, Too
Feb 02, 2005: Honor Among Scalpers
Feb 02, 2005: A Post Too Evil to Even Begin, Apparently
Feb 01, 2005: Go, Pats... and Pass the Brewskis
Jan 31, 2005: My Kingdom for... a Fever!
Jan 29, 2005: So That's What I've Been Missing
Jan 27, 2005: If I Ever Stop Posting, You'll Know Where to Find Me
Jan 26, 2005: Crouching Tiger, Smarty Aleck
Jan 26, 2005: Carnac Would've Known the Answer...
Jan 25, 2005: Please, Mommy, Not Another Meetin'!
Jan 24, 2005: Gimme a Fiver, I'll Give You... a Fever
Jan 22, 2005: I Think I May Have 'Blizzard Fever'
Jan 22, 2005: Please Don't Taunt the Gorilla in the Cage
Jan 20, 2005: Finally, an Entry with a Message!
Jan 19, 2005: Proving Once Again That TV and Blogging Don't Mix
Jan 18, 2005: Say It in Kelvin -- It Sounds Warmer That Way
Jan 17, 2005: Who's Got the Fervor for... a Fever?
Jan 16, 2005: Film at Eleven... or Next Week... or Maybe Never
Jan 14, 2005: I'll Have the 'Gringo Starr' Style, Por Favor
Jan 13, 2005: Well, the Guy Has Suffered Concussions
Jan 11, 2005: Pure Panda-monium
Jan 10, 2005: Love Her, Leave Her, Give Her a... Fever
Jan 09, 2005: This One's Sim-ply Biblical
Jan 07, 2005: It's Not Writing, But It's Still 'Blogging', Dammit
Jan 06, 2005: Those Who Ignore History Are Doomed to Get Caught Naked, Apparently
Jan 06, 2005: Comments? What Comments?
Jan 04, 2005: Yes, It's Too Late to Wish Me a 'Happy New Millennium!', Dammit
Jan 03, 2005: Busy Like a Beaver? Get Yourself a Fever!
Jan 02, 2005: Chai Carumba!
Dec 31, 2004: Home at Last, Home at Last!
Dec 28, 2004: Better Late Than Fever
Dec 28, 2004: I Didn't Sign Up for Twelve Days of Christmas, Dammit!
Dec 27, 2004: Silly Spammers... Christmas is for Kids
Dec 25, 2004: Boy, They Don't Draw 'Em Like They Used To
Dec 23, 2004: That's What You Call an 'Omen', Folks
Dec 21, 2004: Gimme One of Everything, and Dump Me in a Shopping Cart
Dec 20, 2004: Cry Me... a Fever!
Dec 19, 2004: 'Christmas Cheer', Charlie-Style
Dec 18, 2004: Where Be My 'Slammer Skillz'?
Dec 17, 2004: Another Question for the Therapist I'll Eventually Need
Dec 16, 2004: Hey, Where'd the Kegs Go, Dammit?
Dec 15, 2004: If I Promise to Be Silly Soon, Can I Go to Bed Now?
Dec 14, 2004: Hell, Now It Even Looks Like Christmas, Dammit!
Dec 13, 2004: You Say 'To-may-to'; I Say... 'Fever'!
Dec 12, 2004: Holy Crap! Is the Weekend Really Over Already?!
Dec 11, 2004: What I Imagine Hollywood Is Like
Dec 09, 2004: It's Not What I Didn't Do; It's What I Can't Prove
Dec 07, 2004: May I Be Excused to Commit Hara-Kiri, Please?
Dec 06, 2004: Houston, We Have a... Fever!
Dec 05, 2004: 'Tis the Season for Standing in Line to Buy Overpriced Crap
Dec 03, 2004: Well, Sure, Barry -- It Could Happen to Anyone
Dec 02, 2004: I Knew I Should've Gone Back to Bed
Dec 02, 2004: Can I Go Back to Bed Now?
Dec 01, 2004: Is It Just Me... Or Is It You?
Nov 29, 2004: When in Doubt, Pull a Fever Out!
Nov 29, 2004: Nothing to Worry About... It's All Under Control...
Nov 28, 2004: Can't We All Just Get Drunk, Get Online, and Get Along?
Nov 28, 2004: Tidying Up on Sunday
Nov 27, 2004: A Lazy Charlie Is a Happy Charlie
Nov 25, 2004: I Think My 'Innie' Just Turned Itself 'Outie'
Nov 24, 2004: My 'Thanks' Comes With a Wine Menu
Nov 23, 2004: This Should Keep You Occupied While I'm at Work Today
Nov 22, 2004: Looks Like Eternity Will Be Nice and Toasty!
Nov 20, 2004: Finances and Taxonomy -- Now That's a Weekend, People!
Nov 19, 2004: Sure, the Place Is Clean... But Where the Hell Is Everything?!
Nov 17, 2004: Helloooooo, Eugene!
Nov 16, 2004: Espanol on 'El Televisiono'
Nov 14, 2004: Halfway to Hermitville
Nov 12, 2004: All Kinds of Time, and No Partner in Crime
Nov 11, 2004: Red Alert! Red Alert! There's a Heifer in My Pants!
Nov 10, 2004: You Think Emeril Has to Deal With This Bullshit?
Nov 09, 2004: Today's Post Brought to You by NyQuil™
Nov 08, 2004: Anybody Know What 'Pre-Ass' Feels Like?
Nov 07, 2004: Into Every Life a Little 'Enh' Must Fall
Nov 05, 2004: A Short Message From Your Sponsor
Nov 05, 2004: We Will Fight Them on the Beaches, in the Streets, and in the Hills!
Nov 03, 2004: Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut
Nov 02, 2004: The One Where I Get All Political and Shit
Nov 01, 2004: Antennae on the Potato Salad? That's a Paddlin'!
Oct 31, 2004: You're Not Fooling Anyone, You Know
Oct 30, 2004: Why Does No One Tell Me These Things?!
Oct 30, 2004: Dude, You Read My Mind... Pervert!
Oct 29, 2004: Bedtime for Boozo
Oct 28, 2004: Fruit Quiz! Fruit Quiz!
Oct 27, 2004: 'Banner'? I Barely Even Know Her! Hah!
Oct 26, 2004: My Shortest Post, Ever (Prolly!)
Oct 25, 2004: If You Don't Like This Game, Then You're Probably a _______
Oct 24, 2004: Where's the Law of Averages When You Really Need It?
Oct 23, 2004: Two Things Before Bedtime
Oct 22, 2004: I'm All About the Prongs!
Oct 21, 2004: I'm Back! And I Brought a Teaser with Me!
Oct 20, 2004: There's Such a Thing as Being Too Comfortable at Work
Oct 19, 2004: Lucy, I've Got Some 'Splaining to Do
Oct 16, 2004: Okay, So It's Not Really a Post...
Oct 16, 2004: The Game That Almost Was, and Then It Wasn't
Oct 13, 2004: Saved by an Email
Oct 11, 2004: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh Canada!
Oct 08, 2004: Maybe I Should Have Taken French in School, After All
Oct 07, 2004: Maybe I Should Have Tried 'Spanish Fly' Instead...
Oct 05, 2004: The Sweet, Sweet Smell of Vindication
Oct 04, 2004: This Is Your Courtesy Wake-Up Call... Now Gimme Some Money!
Oct 02, 2004: I Knew There Was Something Missing Around Here...
Sep 30, 2004: Maybe I Should Just 'Whistle While I Work', Instead
Sep 29, 2004: Can You Hold, Please? I've Got a Really Urgent Call on 'Line Two'...
Sep 26, 2004: And Baby, You Should See My 'Ham and Eggs'
Sep 24, 2004: Hey -- I'm Not the Boss of You!
Sep 23, 2004: Is That a Canteloupe on Your Back, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
Sep 22, 2004: He's Out! He's In! He's Out Again!
Sep 19, 2004: I'm Back, Baby!
Sep 17, 2004: Just Call Me 'Gramps' and Throw Me in a Rocker
Sep 15, 2004: Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Chop 'Em Into Tiny Bits and Piss On 'Em
Sep 13, 2004: I Found Myself Another Lost Weekend
Sep 10, 2004: An Ass By Any Other Name...
Sep 08, 2004: Dude... That Ain't No Linebacker
Sep 06, 2004: You Call Them Spammers -- My People Call Them 'Punjab-Heads'
Sep 04, 2004: Requiem for a Motherboard
Sep 02, 2004: Maybe I Should Call This Blog the 'Peepee Home Companion'
Sep 01, 2004: Now, That's a 'Web Gem', Linda!
Aug 31, 2004: How the Hell Do You Seque from 'Air Conditioners' to That?!
Aug 31, 2004: Guess Who's Not Invited to Dinner
Aug 29, 2004: Why the Bugs Gotta Be Buggin'?
Aug 27, 2004: Okay, the 'Contest' Is Over...
Aug 26, 2004: You Feel Lucky Today, Punk? Well? Do Ya?
Aug 26, 2004: Well, It Was a Sad Day, Anyway
Aug 26, 2004: I Feel... Fluffy -- Oh, So Fluffy
Aug 24, 2004: Sometimes Three is Not a Charm
Aug 22, 2004: Hey, That's a Printer Port, Not a Finger Hole!
Aug 21, 2004: Saturday Smorgasbord
Aug 20, 2004: "Friday's Child" Can Suck My Sweaty Ass
Aug 19, 2004: Life Lesson #232
Aug 17, 2004: Maybe It's the Cologne I Was Wearing?
Aug 16, 2004: 'And in This Corner, Weighing in at... Three Pounds Lighter Than He Was Ten Minutes Ago...'
Aug 15, 2004: Has It Been Four Years Already?
Aug 14, 2004: Wait -- Are We Supposed to Only Pay the Tax Part?
Aug 12, 2004: A Day-Trip to Bizarro World
Aug 11, 2004: No, No, Skippy -- I Have Some Questions for You
Aug 09, 2004: Well, That'll Teach Me to Tinker!
Aug 08, 2004: Everything's Better... Except the Writing, of Course
Aug 08, 2004: The Chin of the Father Is Visited Upon... the Daughter! Ewww!
Aug 08, 2004: One of Us Is Very Confused
Aug 06, 2004: It's... It's Got Its Tentacles All Over Me!
Aug 05, 2004: Laying Down the Law
Aug 04, 2004: I Think I'd Prefer the B.O., Thank You Very Much
Aug 02, 2004: Wine, Women, and... Holy God, Do You Smell That?!
Aug 01, 2004: Dinner's on Him Tonight -- Who Wants Sushi?
Jul 30, 2004: Hey, Who Dropped a Monday in Front of My Weekend?
Jul 29, 2004: Puppy Love and Poopie Jokes
Jul 27, 2004: Candles, Candles Everywhere
Jul 26, 2004: Is This What They Call a 'Life Lesson'?
Jul 25, 2004: Just Another Damned Sunday
Jul 25, 2004: There's No Such Thing as a 'Friendly Game'
Jul 22, 2004: Another Thing That Probably Amuses Only Me
Jul 21, 2004: I'm Just Peachy, 'Pedro' -- How Are You?
Jul 20, 2004: Oh, I've Got Something You Can Clean...
Jul 19, 2004: Well, I Can't Very Well Write About... the Other Thing
Jul 17, 2004: Mo' London, Mo' London, Mo' London
Jul 15, 2004: Hump Day in Her-Royal-Highness-Ville
Jul 14, 2004: Tuesday in the Tower
Jul 13, 2004: Just Another Day in the UK
Jul 12, 2004: Livin' Large in London
Jul 11, 2004: So... How Much Did You Miss Me?
Jul 03, 2004: Mmmm... That's Good Medicine!
Jul 02, 2004: It's Never Too Late for... a Fever
Jul 01, 2004: It Was the Best of Games, It Was the Worst of Games...
Jun 30, 2004: What's Next, Dammit? Pager Spam?
Jun 29, 2004: Man, You Should See My Reference Letters
Jun 28, 2004: What Would Miss Manners Say?
Jun 27, 2004: Hey, This Time, I Mean It
Jun 26, 2004: A Not-So-Very-Super Bowl
Jun 25, 2004: Don't Hate Me Because I'm 'Rock Star'
Jun 25, 2004: Need a Stress Reliever? Catch a Fever!
Jun 24, 2004: No Wonder I Have Heartburn
Jun 23, 2004: No, You Can't Plead 'No Contest'
Jun 22, 2004: What the Hell -- I Got Nothing Else Right Now
Jun 22, 2004: My Kingdom for a Key to the Executive Washroom
Jun 21, 2004: It's Still Weekend, Right?
Jun 20, 2004: What I Learned on My Summer Va-Cape-tion
Jun 19, 2004: Hey! What the Hell's Going On Down There?
Jun 18, 2004: Fever in the Morning, Fever in the Evening, Fever in the Dead of Night
Jun 17, 2004: Aw, Dammit, Now I'm All Misty-Eyed
Jun 16, 2004: Look, I'm Just Trying to Help
Jun 15, 2004: I Am Doofus, Hear Me Roar
Jun 14, 2004: 'Design on a Dime', My Ass
Jun 13, 2004: Four Shows, Two Sets, and a Big Thanks
Jun 12, 2004: Don't Even Ask What I Thought 'Organic' Meant
Jun 11, 2004: Do Me the Favor of... a Fever
Jun 10, 2004: Who Else Would Tell You About the 'Fringe Benefits'?
Jun 09, 2004: I Also Accept Large, Extravagant Bribes
Jun 09, 2004: Don't Monkey Around With Me, Dammit
Jun 08, 2004: Dammit, It's Just Walking -- Does It Have to Be So Damned Hard?
Jun 07, 2004: An Ode to... Granola?
Jun 06, 2004: Pump This, Gasman!
Jun 05, 2004: We Interrupt This Fiesta for a Much-Needed Siesta
Jun 04, 2004: Callin' In a... Fever
Jun 03, 2004: To Bee, Or Not to Bee... There's Really No Question
Jun 03, 2004: Wasn't the 'Girth' Nonsense Bad Enough, People?
Jun 02, 2004: Can the 'Frankpocalypse' Be Far Behind?
Jun 01, 2004: Hey, It Counts... You're All Invited, Too, Ya Know
May 31, 2004: That's It -- I'm Sticking to Burgers This Summer
May 30, 2004: Another Set of Hirsute Observations
May 29, 2004: Jack Bauer? Who's That?
May 28, 2004: Friday Fever Time!
May 27, 2004: Making Pyramids Out of Molehills
May 26, 2004: Ah, the Days of Wine and Roses and Not Shaving for a Week...
May 25, 2004: I Think My Principles Just Shrivelled Up Inside Me
May 24, 2004: Yeah, It Must Be Monday
May 23, 2004: Fun with Google, Take Three
May 22, 2004: What the Hell Is Wrong With Me? Huh? What Is It? What? Huh?!
May 21, 2004: Big Fat Funky... Fever!
May 20, 2004: Counselor, You Are Out of Order! I Object!
May 19, 2004: Early to Rise, My Ass... Or Rather, Their Asses
May 18, 2004: I Have the Power... But Do I Want the Power?
May 17, 2004: A House Divided... Might Smell Like Asparagus
May 16, 2004: What's Next? A Clown in Congress? Oh. Right...
May 15, 2004: Mowed Down Before I Had a Chance
May 14, 2004: Fee Fi Fo Fum.... Fever!
May 13, 2004: At Least I Can Still Drive to Work... Bitches!
May 12, 2004: For the Love of God, Bob, Get That Thing Away from Me!
May 11, 2004: Reason #42,391 Why I Hate Modern Advertising
May 10, 2004: To Sleep, Perchance to Obsess
May 09, 2004: A Whole New Way to Claim That Nothing Is Ever My Fault
May 08, 2004: Oh, You Could at Least Try, for Chrissakes
May 07, 2004: Fever Time!... Can't Touch This!
May 06, 2004: Well, It Works... But It Doesn't Work Work, of Course
May 05, 2004: Where the Hell Did the Day Go, Anyway?
May 04, 2004: Wait, Tell Me Again... Who Told You It Was Okay to Bother Me?
May 03, 2004: All Work and No Play Makes Charlie Something Something...
May 02, 2004: Checkin' In... and Checkin' Out
May 01, 2004: Saturday the Way God Intended
Apr 30, 2004: Friday, Sweet Friday
Apr 30, 2004: Heatin' Up a Fever!
Apr 29, 2004: Eat Your Low-Carb Heart Out, Dr. Atkins!
Apr 28, 2004: A Grammar Lesson, Charlie-Style
Apr 27, 2004: Shit, I Don't Even Have a 'Fly Crib'! Or Know What That Means! Argh!
Apr 26, 2004: You Know the 'Good Kind of Hurt'? Well, This Ain't It, Dammit
Apr 25, 2004: Did Anyone Catch the License Number of That Weekend?
Apr 24, 2004: Blimey! Pour Us a Pint, Then, Would You, Guv'nah?
Apr 23, 2004: Well, They Can't All Be Gems, Right?
Apr 23, 2004: Fever for the Flavor of... a Fever!
Apr 22, 2004: Second Floor: Lingerie, Women's Shoes, and -- Oh My God, Who Did That?!
Apr 21, 2004: Um... 'Mulva'?
Apr 20, 2004: Welcome! You Should Probably Put These Waders On Now
Apr 19, 2004: All Hail Fake Holidays!
Apr 18, 2004: Now 'Spongeboob'... That Might Be Worth Watching
Apr 17, 2004: Just a Wee Misunderstanding
Apr 16, 2004: Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Dinner, Dammit
Apr 16, 2004: The Fever Is Gonna Get You!
Apr 15, 2004: If Only Kevin Bacon Had a Blog
Apr 14, 2004: A Short Glimpse into Madness
Apr 13, 2004: Does This Qualify as 'Bettering Myself'?
Apr 12, 2004: Deli, Deli, Wherefore Art Thou Going?
Apr 11, 2004: Please, No Autographs, and No Flash Photography
Apr 10, 2004: Baseball and Sushi and Nipples, Oh My!
Apr 09, 2004: Friday Nights Are Made for Fudgy Boobs
Apr 09, 2004: Fever, Fever, Fever, Fever -- Mushroom! Mushroom!
Apr 08, 2004: Hey, Whaddaya Know -- Reading Can Be Fun!
Apr 07, 2004: You Call This Progress?!
Apr 06, 2004: Ambush, Scrambush
Apr 05, 2004: Revelations, Book One
Apr 04, 2004: Requiem for a Weekend
Apr 03, 2004: A Blast... from the Future
Apr 02, 2004: Maybe I Can Catch 'Fast Times' on HBO, Instead
Apr 02, 2004: Oh, You'll Be Fine -- It's Just a Little Fever
Apr 01, 2004: Don't You Just Love Teasers, Folks?
Apr 01, 2004: When I Say 'Made It Big', I Mean BIG
Mar 31, 2004: Nothing to See Here, Folks
Mar 31, 2004: I Guess They Don't Brief the Guys on Everything Beforehand
Mar 31, 2004: Reason #28,242 Why I Hate Mornings
Mar 30, 2004: If You Take 'Em Out to the Ball Game, Make Sure You Take 'Em Home, Too!
Mar 29, 2004: I'd Say, 'Piss On M&Ms!'... But I'm Afraid It Might Actually Happen
Mar 28, 2004: Isn't My Financial Security Worth Doing Nothing For?
Mar 27, 2004: 'Date Night' Kicks Off
Mar 26, 2004: Oh, I've Got Your 'Snickers' Right Here, Pally
Mar 26, 2004: You Give Me... Fever!
Mar 25, 2004: Yes, I'm Bitter -- But I'm Right, Too, Goddamit
Mar 25, 2004: How's About a Halftime 'Pep Talk'?
Mar 25, 2004: File Under 'Perplexing... and Yet Strangely Exciting'
Mar 24, 2004: Ravings of a Stonewalled Caffeine Fiend
Mar 23, 2004: Ew, That's Nasty! Wait -- That's Me!
Mar 22, 2004: Ya Think Moses and Joan of Arc Had These Problems?
Mar 21, 2004: Hey, Can I Get My Assignments Diagrammed on a Telestrator, Too?
Mar 20, 2004: Sometimes the Hardest Choices Are Also the Silliest
Mar 19, 2004: One of Us Is Thinking Way Too Hard About This
Mar 19, 2004: If You Caught It From Me, It Must Be a 'Fever'!
Mar 18, 2004: Won't 'They' Ever Learn?
Mar 18, 2004: Anything 'They' Can Say, I Can Say Better
Mar 17, 2004: I Refuse to Watch TV, On the Grounds That I May Inbooberate Myself
Mar 16, 2004: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like... Hey, It's Frigging March!
Mar 16, 2004: Please, No Soccer Yahooligans
Mar 15, 2004: Please... Haven't We Suffered Enough?
Mar 14, 2004: Mmmm... Brackets. Mmmm... Beer.
Mar 13, 2004: An Unsettling Seat
Mar 12, 2004: 'Good Communication Skills'? Oh, We'll See About That
Mar 12, 2004: Is It Me... Or Is There a Fever In Here?
Mar 12, 2004: 'State of the Blog': Back for Another Round
Mar 11, 2004: Of Course, It's Not Nearly as Funny as My 'Little Black Book'
Mar 10, 2004: I'm Late With Today's Post? Outrageous!
Mar 09, 2004: Oh, That Is So Fricking Cool!
Mar 09, 2004: I Confess... That I Don't Know What to Write About
Mar 08, 2004: Help! Help! I'm Being Garanimalized!
Mar 07, 2004: Something for Everybody, From Everybody
Mar 07, 2004: Sunday, Grungy Sunday
Mar 06, 2004: What Exactly Do You Mean, 'What's Up, Doc?'
Mar 05, 2004: Getting Some 'Play' Out of the Idol
Mar 05, 2004: If It's Friday, I Must Be Fevered!
Mar 04, 2004: Is This the 'High Life', Mommy?
Mar 04, 2004: Hey, I'm Seeing Results Already! Wait, Scratch That...
Mar 03, 2004: Fat, Manic, and Sober Is No Way to Go Through Life, Son
Mar 03, 2004: Man, I Am Not Looking Forward to Unpacking
Mar 01, 2004: Who Do You Love? And While We're at It, Who Do You Hate?
Feb 29, 2004: I'll Let You Bump, Just So Long As I Get to Spike
Feb 29, 2004: Say 'Cheese', Swiss-Style
Feb 29, 2004: Play? Play Ball! And Pour Me a Beer While You're At It
Feb 28, 2004: Whatever You Do, Don't Let Me Near the TiVo!
Feb 27, 2004: A Bit of Idolatry... at the Movies
Feb 27, 2004: I'm A-Feelin' Me a Fever
Feb 27, 2004: Well, Shit -- It Was Supposed to Be a Short Post
Feb 26, 2004: No, Goddammit, I Did Not Say, 'Cheezit'!
Feb 25, 2004: Now If I Can Just Get Someone to Walk Around With Me and Make the 'Dun Dun' Noise
Feb 24, 2004: Movie Memories and Celluloid Nightmares
Feb 24, 2004: An Ode to Ade
Feb 24, 2004: A Battle of Two Half-Wits
Feb 23, 2004: Oh, They're Just Friggin' Insoles -- Put the Damned Things In and Shut Up, Already!
Feb 23, 2004: I Think What I Meant to Say Was, 'Thank You!'
Feb 22, 2004: Thank the Gods Fran Drescher Wasn't Around Back Then
Feb 21, 2004: Where I Prove Conclusively That Work Is Not an Option
Feb 20, 2004: Okay, So I Posted, Dammit -- Can I Go Back to 'Grow' Now?
Feb 20, 2004: Punchline Fever!
Feb 19, 2004: Maybe I'm Wrong... Maybe It Is Just Gas, After All
Feb 18, 2004: Oh, It's Not Like I'm Perfect -- You Know the Drill By Now...
Feb 17, 2004: My Random Thoughts, as Influenced By the Simpsons
Feb 17, 2004: I Can Almost Hear the 'Rocky' Theme...
Feb 16, 2004: I Got Your 'Fisheye Lens' Right Here, Jackass!
Feb 15, 2004: The 'Long and the Short of It', Valentine-Style
Feb 15, 2004: There's No Time Like the Present... or Maybe Tuesday Night, or How About Next Thursday?
Feb 15, 2004: It's Madness, I Tell You! Maaaaadness!
Feb 14, 2004: I May Never Learn... But My Sinuses Have Never Been Clearer
Feb 13, 2004: Hey, You Know Me... Would I Do That Sort of Thing?
Feb 12, 2004: Just Because She Strikes Twice Doesn't Mean She's Not Lightning
Feb 12, 2004: Sure, I Hate Being Late... But I Don't Hate It That Much
Feb 12, 2004: Really, I'll Make It Up to You! Promise!
Feb 11, 2004: Yeah, Maybe It's Just Me... Never Mind
Feb 10, 2004: A Bit of Late-Night 'Forward Thinking'
Feb 10, 2004: Dammit, Now I Went and Got All 'Thinky'... Blech!
Feb 09, 2004: Just Pray That You Manage to Stop Reading Before the End, Folks
Feb 09, 2004: D00d! N0 \/\/@y! I @/\/\ 5ooo there!
Feb 08, 2004: Hey, If You Press Your Ear to the Windshield, You Can Still Hear the Radio!
Feb 08, 2004: Wait for It... Wait for It... Wait... Not Yet!
Feb 08, 2004: I Think This Is What They Call a 'Sign'
Feb 07, 2004: Her Meals Take 30 Minutes to Make... But She Can Eat 'Em in 30 Seconds!
Feb 07, 2004: Ahhhhhhhhh... Oh Yeah, That's Better!
Feb 06, 2004: Don't Think I Wasn't Serious, Dammit!
Feb 06, 2004: Hey, I'm All Grumpy and Crabby Just Thinking About This
Feb 05, 2004: So Does This Make It Better... or Worse?
Feb 05, 2004: Now Why Didn't I Think of That?
Feb 05, 2004: I Think We Know Which Is Funnier, Don't We?
Feb 04, 2004: Is It Fricking Tomorrow Yet?
Feb 04, 2004: A King or an Idol? Oh, Don't Make Me Choose Just One!
Feb 03, 2004: Spreading the Blather All Over the Blogosphere
Feb 03, 2004: So This Is What Happens When People Migrate to Movable Type...
Feb 02, 2004: Will the Real 'King Dong' Please... No, Wait, Don't Stand Up! Really!
Feb 01, 2004: Hey, I Could Be the 'Last Comic Stumbling'
Jan 31, 2004: I Have Enough Stains on My Pants Without Sitting on That, Thank You Very Much!
Jan 30, 2004: Baby, Is It Time for My Geritol Yet?
Jan 30, 2004: The Last 'State of the Blog' Post for a While
Jan 29, 2004: I Think We All Know What 'Paybacks' Are, Don't We?
Jan 28, 2004: It's a Hiccup in the Schedule -- Just a Hiccup!
Jan 27, 2004: King Me, Baby!
Jan 26, 2004: No, 'Old McDonald' Does Not Count
Jan 26, 2004: Yes, It's Another 'State of the Blog' Post
Jan 25, 2004: Freedom Never Looked So Good! (Or Scared the Neighbors So Much!)
Jan 24, 2004: Is Your Pocket Ringing... Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
Jan 23, 2004: Chewing on a Problem
Jan 23, 2004: Okay... So It'll Make Sense a Little While Later...
Jan 22, 2004: It'll All Make Sense in a Little While...
Jan 22, 2004: Look on the Bright Side -- There's Only One of Me!
Jan 21, 2004: But Will It Fit on a T-Shirt?
Jan 21, 2004: Memes and Themes and Contests, Oh My!
Jan 20, 2004: Yes, Natalie, That's My Final Answer!
Jan 19, 2004: My Dog, the Betty Page Wanna-Be
Jan 19, 2004: Wow! And Thanks! And Welcome! And... Wow!
Jan 18, 2004: This Post Has No Title Because I'm Not Really Here
Jan 18, 2004: I'd Rather Be a 'Blogger Idol' Than an 'Idle Blogger'
Jan 17, 2004: Maybe It Would Be Safer to Just 'Go Commando'
Jan 16, 2004: See, This Is Why We're Married
Jan 16, 2004: I Don't Need a Car -- I Need a Frickin' Aspirin
Jan 16, 2004: Don't They Teach You People Math in 'Weather School'?
Jan 16, 2004: You Had Me at 'Probed'
Jan 16, 2004: My Kingdom for a Pepsi!
Jan 16, 2004: Next Time, I'm Gettin' a Bowl of Soup
Jan 16, 2004: Behold the Power of Doodles
Jan 16, 2004: Honey, What's the Date on This Milk? It Tastes a Little Phlegmy!
Jan 15, 2004: You're Late... and Why Do You Smell Like a Heineken Brewery?
Jan 14, 2004: My Deepest Nethers and a Defective Windshield... But Thankfully Not in the Same Story
Jan 13, 2004: Random Thoughts After a Hard Day's Work
Jan 12, 2004: Clothes Make the Monday
Jan 12, 2004: Some 'Forward Thinking' for a Monday Afternoon
Jan 11, 2004: You Call That a Fire? Now That's a Fire!
Jan 10, 2004: Stadium, Shmadium -- Somebody Get Me Another Beer
Jan 09, 2004: If You Didn't Know Me Then... You'll Certainly Know Me Now
Jan 09, 2004: Standup for the New Year
Jan 08, 2004: A Future of Pants-Pooping Poverty
Jan 07, 2004: Sorry, Folks, But I'm Up to My Armholes Over Here
Jan 06, 2004: Tootin' Horns All Over the Blogosphere
Jan 06, 2004: Let's Take a Stroll Through My Nightmare, Shall We?
Jan 05, 2004: Shit, I Only Got 40 Points... and I Wrote the Damned Test!!
Jan 05, 2004: I'll Have the 'Footlong Festering Foot Rash' Sub, Please, With Farts and Feathers... Ooh, and Light Mayo, Too!
Jan 04, 2004: Another Few Days of This, and I'll Look Like the Unabomber
Jan 04, 2004: Please Tell Me Those Are Chocolate Cupcakes Stuck to the Ceiling
Jan 03, 2004: Flying Solo for a Night
Jan 02, 2004: My Dog Has Fleas... In Her Fricking Brain!
Jan 01, 2004: This Is Gonna Be a Busy Year! Poopenheimen!
Dec 31, 2003: My New Year's Resolution: Stop Blogging About This Goddamned Illness!
Dec 30, 2003: You're Not Fooling Anyone, You Know
Dec 28, 2003: Hey, Boss -- I Lied. I'll Be Back in February. Maybe.
Dec 27, 2003: Let's Just Say She Didn't 'Hang It By My Chimney With Care', All Right?
Dec 26, 2003: Dammit, I'm Tired... and Sean Connery Is Calling
Dec 25, 2003: What Christmas Means to Mini-Me
Dec 24, 2003: How Does That Rip Van Winkle Bastard Do It, Anyway?
Dec 23, 2003: The 'Truth' Will Set You Free
Dec 22, 2003: There's a Rebel Between My Ears
Dec 21, 2003: A Big Fat Fistful of Snark
Dec 20, 2003: And Now for Something Completely Random
Dec 19, 2003: Don't They 'Play-Test' These Damned Things, For Chrissakes?
Dec 18, 2003: You Just Said What, Now? Lemme Get a Pen...
Dec 18, 2003: If Anyone Asks, I'm Not Here
Dec 17, 2003: Where Do You Want to Blog Today?
Dec 16, 2003: Pay No Attention to All the Crap Hidden in the Closets
Dec 16, 2003: If I Can't Be Normal, Can't I at Least Be 'Regular'?
Dec 16, 2003: As the Xerox Turns?
Dec 15, 2003: Be Afraid... Be Very, Very, Very Afraid!
Dec 14, 2003: Are You Ready for Some Snowballs? (aka, 'All My Rowdy Friends Are Freezing Their 'Nads Off Tonight!)
Dec 13, 2003: Dude, Your Head Looks Like an Ass Crack!
Dec 12, 2003: Somewhere Out There, Little Ricky Is Making Her His 'Prostate'
Dec 12, 2003: Sure, It's Good to Be the King... But the King of What, Exactly?
Dec 12, 2003: I Just Knew She Was the One...
Dec 11, 2003: A Little of This (Crap), a Little of That (Crap)
Dec 11, 2003: It Ain't a 'Fireside Chat', But It's All I've Got
Dec 11, 2003: We Have a Wiener!
Dec 10, 2003: Well... You're Soaking In It!
Dec 10, 2003: At Least It Wasn't Celine Dion... Er, Um, I Mean... Nothing. Nothing!
Dec 10, 2003: The Short of It
Dec 09, 2003: You Can Shove That 'Ultimate Driving Machine' Right Up Your Ass, There, Skippy
Dec 08, 2003: Gee, I Always Thought It Would Involve an Angry Mob, Somehow
Dec 08, 2003: Oh Sure, I Can Have That Tomorrow! No Problem!
Dec 07, 2003: Eat Your Heart Out, Florida! (aka Suck It, San Diego!)
Dec 06, 2003: Another Bright Idea, From a Not-So-Bright Blogger
Dec 06, 2003: I Always Was a 'Standup' Kind of Guy
Dec 05, 2003: I'll Toot Your Horn If You'll... Um, Yeah, Never Mind
Dec 05, 2003: Yeah, It's Bathroom Humor... But It's Not That Kind of Bathroom Humor
Dec 04, 2003: Why, Oh Why Couldn't They Have Given Me '6969'?
Dec 04, 2003: A Comedy Update... But Not Necessarily a Comedic Update
Dec 03, 2003: Behold, the Magical Boxers of Much Hilarity!
Dec 02, 2003: Anybody Wanna Help Me Staple a Pillow to a Wall?
Dec 02, 2003: Oooh, Look -- Me Some More! But Brent, Too, So That's Okay
Dec 01, 2003: Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me. Oh, I Forgot -- Me!
Nov 30, 2003: I Feel So Young Again! Young, and... Um, Stupid, Actually
Nov 29, 2003: Next Thing You Know, I'll Be Passing Legislation... Or Getting Arrested Trying
Nov 28, 2003: Well, That's Three for Three... It's Just a Different Three, That's All
Nov 28, 2003: If I Disappear, You'll Know the Pentagon Brass Has Their Claws Into Me
Nov 27, 2003: Can We Have Tabouli Instead of Mashed Potatoes This Year?
Nov 26, 2003: Well, So Far, I've Got 'Sloth' Covered...
Nov 26, 2003: Beddy-Bye, Here I Come
Nov 25, 2003: See, This Is Why You Shouldn't Blog Without a Good Night's Rest...
Nov 25, 2003: Congratulations? Thanks? Come Again? What?
Nov 24, 2003: A Rant, a Story, and a 'Contest' Update -- What More Could You Want?
Nov 24, 2003: Totally Topicless Tidbits
Nov 23, 2003: Hey, Who the Hell Stole My Weekend?
Nov 22, 2003: Dammit, Stop Licking That -- I'm Getting Creeped Out!
Nov 22, 2003: You'll Take This Crappy Thing, and You'll Like It
Nov 21, 2003: The Good, the Bad, and the 'What the Hell Are You Doing, Dude?!'
Nov 20, 2003: Why Yes, I Will Have Another! How Could I Not?
Nov 19, 2003: Be Careful What You Ask For, When You're Really Just Trying to Be Nice
Nov 18, 2003: Jeez, Nobody Told Me I'd Have to Make Decisions!
Nov 17, 2003: An Evening at the Improv Facsimile
Nov 16, 2003: I Guess I'll Never Be One of the 'Cool Kids'
Nov 16, 2003: A Short Break for Some Shameless Self-Promotion
Nov 15, 2003: How Can You Not Take It? Don't You Want Protection Against Swarms of Locusts? Are You Mad?!
Nov 15, 2003: I'd Raise an Eyebrow Over It... But That Would Just Make It Worse
Nov 14, 2003: Hey, I Finally Get It Now! Cool!
Nov 13, 2003: Sometimes It's What's Not Said That's Important
Nov 13, 2003: Somebody Get This Vat of Molasses the Hell Out of My Nose!
Nov 12, 2003: Hair Today, Hair Again Tomorrow
Nov 11, 2003: Look, Just Show Me Your Boobs and We'll Call It Even, Okay?
Nov 10, 2003: Yet Another Opportunity to Be Less Like Me
Nov 09, 2003: Turning Over a New Leaf... and Ten Thousand of Its Closest Friends
Nov 08, 2003: My Kingdom for a 'Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger!'
Nov 08, 2003: Standing on the Edge, Rubber Chicken in Hand
Nov 07, 2003: Adventures With Massholes... Yes, Dammit, Again. Shaddup!
Nov 07, 2003: Man, They Grow Up So Fast!
Nov 06, 2003: Dial 'M' for Moron
Nov 06, 2003: Blogging It Forward
Nov 05, 2003: Is That Thirty Pounds of Crap in Your Pants... Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
Nov 04, 2003: An End Table... A Countertop... For Crissakes, a Milk Crate -- Gimme Something Over Here!
Nov 04, 2003: What Was That? Nothing? Ooh, How About That? Nothing, Too? Damn!
Nov 03, 2003: I Got Your SuperSize Right Here, Doc
Nov 02, 2003: Can You Keep a 'Secret'?
Nov 01, 2003: If I Never See Another Hand-Carved, Claw-Footed, Sleigh-Backed Mahogany Frickin' Chair, It'll Be Too Damned Soon
Oct 31, 2003: Excuse Me Whilst I Do Some Cipherin'
Oct 31, 2003: Yeah, That's Pretty Much My Life in a Nutshell
Oct 30, 2003: Man, How Do You Live Like That?
Oct 29, 2003: Can I Buy a Damned Clue, Please?
Oct 28, 2003: T-Minus Nineteen Days... and Sweating
Oct 28, 2003: Can You Hold, Please? I've Got a Primal Scream on Line Two I Need to Take
Oct 27, 2003: That's It -- Next Week I'm Sleeping Through the Whole Damned Thing
Oct 27, 2003: So, How Many Weight Watchers Points Would 'M&Ms Chili' Be?
Oct 26, 2003: Oh, I'll Be an Asshole... But What Kind of Asshole?
Oct 26, 2003: It's Just Not Fair, Dammit!
Oct 25, 2003: Well, If You Didn't Do It, And I Didn't Do It...
Oct 24, 2003: If You're Not 'Da Shiznit', Then Dammit, Don't Say 'Da Shiznit'!
Oct 24, 2003: I Could Thank You Properly... But My Wife Would Be Pissed
Oct 23, 2003: Don't Get All Pissy, Dude -- It Happens to Everyone
Oct 22, 2003: I Think My Toes Are Frozen... But My Fingers Are Toasty Warm!
Oct 22, 2003: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Oct 21, 2003: It May Be Weird... But I Never Go Hungry!
Oct 21, 2003: Some Things Are Gonna Change Around Here...
Oct 20, 2003: Is That a Horrible Muscle Tic On Your Inner Thigh... Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
Oct 20, 2003: Oh, Thank God You're Here!
Oct 19, 2003: I Wonder Whether There's a 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' Checklist
Oct 18, 2003: Two and a Half Hours of Hell (Not My Hell, But Still!)
Oct 18, 2003: You're From Where? Hey, I Heard a Poem About You!
Oct 17, 2003: The (Nearly) Unbearable Goofiness of Being... Charlie
Oct 16, 2003: This Blaze of Glory Is Gonna Be Deep-Fried, Baby
Oct 16, 2003: Hey, Aren't You...?
Oct 15, 2003: Random Shit That Non-Baseball Fans Probably Won't Give a Damn About
Oct 15, 2003: Parking's No Walk in the Damned Park, You Know
Oct 14, 2003: People Really Do This Shit Five Days a Week?
Oct 14, 2003: Heroes Who Always 'Turn the Other Cheek'
Oct 13, 2003: Back to the 'Grind' (Not the Fun, Spanky Kind, Either)
Oct 13, 2003: If You Haven't Read It -- and You Haven't, Trust Me -- It's New to You!
Oct 12, 2003: Don't You Bully Me with That Thing!
Oct 11, 2003: Dude, Keanu's Like, Six Stories Tall! Kewl!
Oct 10, 2003: I May Never Park the Damned Car Again
Oct 10, 2003: Eat That, 'Bisexual Plano Texas Brunette'!
Oct 09, 2003: I Knew I Should Have Gone to the Store Today...
Oct 09, 2003: You Wanna Climb Down My What and Do What-What?!
Oct 09, 2003: Just Another Pain in the Ice
Oct 09, 2003: I Got Your 'Friendly Confines' Right Here
Oct 08, 2003: What I Should Have Done On My Summer Vacation
Oct 08, 2003: Status Report from Clown College
Oct 07, 2003: May I Have the Extension for 'Maladjusted Shit-for-Brains', Please?
Oct 07, 2003: This Is Not the Kind of 'Solo' I Want, Dammit!
Oct 06, 2003: 'Number One' Just Got Easier, Gents
Oct 05, 2003: All I'm Asking for Is a Sporting Chance
Oct 04, 2003: Just Think of It as 'Blog Post Roulette'
Oct 03, 2003: Rose-Colored, These Bastards Are Not!
Oct 02, 2003: Adventures With Naked Eyeballs, Part Two
Oct 01, 2003: Ghosts and Ghouls and... Can We Just Get This the Hell Over With, Please?
Sep 30, 2003: Could You at Least Write It Down, and Just Hand Me the Note?
Sep 29, 2003: Please Tell Me I Just Stepped In a Puddle of Drool
Sep 28, 2003: I May Have to Towel Off After This Bout of Exercising -- Whew!
Sep 27, 2003: Damn, Now I'm Gonna Have to Start Wearing Pants Again
Sep 26, 2003: Five Really Stupid Things to Say, aka the 'Homework of Hilarity'
Sep 25, 2003: Wanted: Motivated Individual for Audiovisual Entertainment Evaluation Position
Sep 24, 2003: Can We All Just Go Back to Telegraphs? Please?!
Sep 23, 2003: The Sox Are Locks! (Though That Might Be 'Bol-Locks')
Sep 22, 2003: Now This Is a 'Two for Tuesday'!
Sep 21, 2003: A Tie By Any Other Name Would Still Be a Damned Stupid Idea
Sep 20, 2003: I'll Finally Find Out How Tomorrow People Ended!
Sep 19, 2003: Maintenance Like One Day of Pirate**
Sep 19, 2003: Just a Program Note, Nothing to See Here... Move Along, Folks
Sep 18, 2003: Tell Me, O Mighty Liege of Destruction, How Many Vacation Weeks Will I Have?
Sep 17, 2003: If You Didn't Get It On Tape, You Can't Prove Nothin'
Sep 16, 2003: Well, There's a Quarter. Do You Care Yet?
Sep 15, 2003: Musings From the Porcelain Cathedral (No, Dammit, the Other One!)
Sep 14, 2003: Whatever You Do, Don't Lick the Aluminum Bats
Sep 13, 2003: Which Is Worse -- Being Crushed to Death or Choked by Begonias?
Sep 12, 2003: Is It Mandatory to Shower Before an Interview?
Sep 11, 2003: This Is Not How I Thought I'd Join the Century Club
Sep 10, 2003: Ninety-Nine Bloggity Posts on the Web, Ninety-Nine Bloggity Posts...
Sep 09, 2003: A Weather Report We Can Finally Believe!
Sep 08, 2003: 'And Then She Asks Us Three Questions.' ('Five Questions, Sir.' 'Oh, Right. Five Questions.')
Sep 07, 2003: Please Be Patient... We're Experiencing Ocular Difficulties
Sep 06, 2003: I Could Tell You... But Then I'd Have to Kill Myself
Sep 05, 2003: This Is the Dawning of the Age of Pigskin and Pork Rinds
Sep 04, 2003: Looks Like Somebody Out There Is 'Beer Googling' Again
Sep 03, 2003: Sometimes a Rat Race Is Better Than No Race at All
Sep 02, 2003: Whaddaya Mean, You Can't Have a Jacuzzi So Close to the Dinner Table?
Sep 01, 2003: In a State of Uncertainty (And Anticipated Bureaucracy)
Aug 31, 2003: A Name, a Name, a Name for Taming the Flames
Aug 30, 2003: As If My Life Weren't Already a Pain in the Ass
Aug 29, 2003: Try Picking the Lesser of These Evils, Folks! Go On, I Dare Ya!
Aug 28, 2003: Now I Wonder Where I Can Get a Rubber Chicken?
Aug 27, 2003: But I Can't Play This Game... I've Gotta Go Watch That Game!
Aug 26, 2003: Bringing the Joy of Music to People Who Really Wish I Wouldn't
Aug 25, 2003: There Are Childhood Memories... And Then There Are Precious Childhood Memories
Aug 24, 2003: The Eight-Year Itch -- Does Lightning Strike Twice?
Aug 23, 2003: I'm Back, But I'm Leaving... But I'll Be Back Soon...
Aug 21, 2003: Hi! Can I Help You? Booga booga booga! *click*
Aug 20, 2003: Gee, Do We Really Need Yet Another Sucky Thing in the House?
Aug 19, 2003: Funny, You Don't Look Like the Lady of the House...
Aug 18, 2003: Hey, I'm a Man, and I Watch Shows. What's So Fricking Hard to Understand?
Aug 17, 2003: And the 'Selfless Humanitarian Husband / Homeowner of the Year' Award Goes to...
Aug 16, 2003: No, Dammit, How Are You Doing?
Aug 15, 2003: Paper Bags for the Groceries, Please. And a Plastic One for the Ecstatic Drool.
Aug 14, 2003: You Sure You Didn't Accidentally Grill Your Shoe Out There?
Aug 13, 2003: Oh, I Need a Clue, All Right... I'm Just Not Sure It's This One
Aug 12, 2003: I Got the Hell Out of Bed This Morning for This?!
Aug 11, 2003: OK, So Maybe You Had to Be There...
Aug 10, 2003: That Which Does Not Kill Me Will Only Screw Up My Car and Make Me Puke, Apparently
Aug 09, 2003: Fenway -- It's No Walk in the Park, You Know
Aug 08, 2003: If Fingers Were Wishes, I'd Still Find a Way to Screw Myself
Aug 07, 2003: Read One, Get Three Free!
Aug 06, 2003: You Better Laugh, Bee-yatch, Or I'll Sit On Yo' Head!
Aug 05, 2003: Hello, Sir, and How Are You? We're Calling Today to Make Your Life a Living Hell!
Aug 04, 2003: Anatomy of a Monday
Aug 03, 2003: Have I Mentioned That I Have a Dog to Give Away?
Aug 02, 2003: I'll Call Your Sweaty Ass, and Raise You Three Chewed-On Stogies
Aug 01, 2003: An Uneven Start to a Rocky Relationship
Jul 31, 2003: Dude, I Don't Know What You're Looking For, But I Know I Don't Have It
Jul 30, 2003: Thanks for the Vanities
Jul 30, 2003: At Least It Wasn't That Damned Geico Gecko
Jul 29, 2003: It's as Easy as, 'One, Two, Twelve, K, Delta, Nine, T, Sixteen, Bleh!'
Jul 29, 2003: Thou Shalt Collect Two of Every Adjective, and Pronoun, and Conjunction...
Jul 28, 2003: My So-Blogged Life
Jul 27, 2003: I'm Tapin' Matlock, and Murder, She Wrote, and.. and... What Was I Saying?
Jul 26, 2003: I Want You to Get Me... But Please Don't Get Me Wrong
Jul 25, 2003: What Do You Mean, Toothpaste Wasn't Invented Yet?!
Jul 24, 2003: The Quest for Endless Simpsons and Always-On South Park
Jul 23, 2003: Y'Know, I've Seen Some Ants Around Here, Too. Can I Claim Them?
Jul 22, 2003: Thou Shalt Not Worketh, Nor Searcheth for a Job
Jul 21, 2003: With Six You Get Iggrull
Jul 21, 2003: Does That Come With a Side of ReFarted Beans?
Jul 20, 2003: Training for the 'Old Fart Olympics'
Jul 19, 2003: No, Really -- I Have Plenty to Do
Jul 18, 2003: If It's Friday, I Must Be Out of Real Material
Jul 17, 2003: Happy Blogiversary!
Jul 17, 2003: And Now, for Your Non-Listening Probably-Not-Pleasure...
Jul 16, 2003: The Next Day of the Rest of My Life?!?
Jul 15, 2003: The First Day of the Rest of My Life?
Jul 14, 2003: She Likes Me! She Really Likes Me!
Jul 13, 2003: That's It! I'm Drawing the Line -- Here! No, Here! Here? How About Here? No?
Jul 12, 2003: If You Build It, Shouldn't They Come? And Pee in It, for Chrissakes?
Jul 11, 2003: Maybe I Need 'Blogging For Dummies'...
Jul 10, 2003: Going Up, or Going Down?
Jul 10, 2003: A Quickie While I Work on the Next Manifesto...
Jul 09, 2003: Revenge of the Pervs
Jul 09, 2003: Eight Simple Rules for Pulling Your Damned Life Together
Jul 08, 2003: Justice May Be Blind, But It Can Still Get the Willies
Jul 07, 2003: I Missed the Boat on 'Mister Poopy Pants', Too
Jul 06, 2003: 48 Million People Can Be Horribly, Horribly Wrong
Jul 05, 2003: The End of an Era of Ersatz Erotica
Jul 04, 2003: Happy Birthday! Or War Day! Or Bank Holiday! ...You Go, Girl!
Jul 03, 2003: Grampa's Gonna Hop on the Good Foot and Do the Bad Thing. Yeah, Baby!
Jul 03, 2003: Magical Moments, or The Day I Came of Age
Jul 02, 2003: These Are Not Your Father's OldsmoWheels
Jul 01, 2003: How the Hell Can You See the Road With Your Head Jammed Up There?
Jul 01, 2003: Milking a New Idea for All It's Worth
Jun 30, 2003: I Found the Truth in a Trailer Park
Jun 28, 2003: Open Letter to an Internet Porno Phreak with Artistic Talents
Jun 28, 2003: Oysters, Oysters Everywhere!
Jun 27, 2003: And Now, a Non-Musical Interlude
Jun 27, 2003: Titles Make the Blog Grow Bigger
Jun 26, 2003: Man's New Best Friend?
Jun 26, 2003: Your Stuff Is Shit, But This Shit... Is CRAP!
Jun 25, 2003: The Dream Job Giveth, and the Dream Job Taketh Away
Jun 25, 2003: "Hey, Where Is Everybody Today? Did I Miss a Memo?"
Jun 24, 2003: Whacking Myself Has Never Been This Much Fun!
Jun 24, 2003: "Honey, Did You Remember the Ho-Ho's?"
Jun 23, 2003: Call for Two of These, and Take One in the Morning
Jun 23, 2003: The Accidental Exhibitionist
Jun 21, 2003: Keeping Abreast of an Old Friend's Problem
Jun 20, 2003: In Dogged Pursuit of Scientific Discovery
Jun 20, 2003: A Boston Compendium in Three Acts
Jun 19, 2003: The Royal 'We' is Not Amusing
Jun 19, 2003: "Hey, was that '30 Seconds to Fame' just now?"
Jun 18, 2003: A Wall to Save Us All
Jun 17, 2003: Boston Bears a Blog

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