Where the Hell Was I? blog: Original humor & comedy articles daily weblog

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Man, I am so tempted to hang around here at home for another few minutes.

It's a slow day at the office.

(Yes, already, after I've been there less than two weeks. No, no, that doesn't say something about me that I don't want to think about. I am not lazy and apathetic and easily distracted. Now hush up. I'm trying to tell you something.)

Anyway, I slipped home for lunch at around noon. In other words, about an hour and a half ago, and it'll take me twenty minutes to get back. I don't think I'll be missed, per se. (Story of my life, that...)

But I do want to get something accomplished, and make a good impression, and grow up big and strong and all that shit.

Still. There's this other thing.

Of course, since I'm home, I'm at the computer. And since I'm at the computer, I'm checking out some favorite blogs, and poring over my server stats. And here's what I see, with respect to the latter:

My humble little site has gotten a grand total of 4,995 hits.

(No, not today, you whacked-out asscopter. What do I look like, Silflay friggin' Hraka over here? I mean total, since the dawn of time. Which for the purposes of this discussion was mid-afternoon on June 15th. Nothing that happened before that has any real significance. For now, anyway. You can go back to caring about shit older than that in a minute.)

(By the way, how did 'asscopter' work out? It popped into my head today, and I wanted to try it out. I even thought I might have come up with it myself, since I don't remember ever hearing it before. But as usual, I was scooped. Hell, it's even got it's own domain. Where the hell have I been? One of you couldn't send me a frickin' memo?)

Anyway, I'm tempted to stick around a little longer and write a proper post, thereby (hopefully) bearing witness to the counter as it ticks over the magical 5k mark. I could even blow up some balloons or something to celebrate. If we have any. Or maybe just some old condoms -- like I always say, any inflatable latex bag will do in a pinch. Which, um, isn't usually quite as bad as it sounds. Almost? Yes. Quite? Probably not.

But I really should be going. Oh, I'll be back this evening. I've got a topic all ready for the day (hint: it involves my car), and I'm ready to roll with it. And now, I'll have to also find the words to thank all of you who've helped to bring this site to the brink -- nay, the very cusp -- of a hallowed, if somewhat arbitrary, milestone. Why, I'm all misty-eyed just thinking about it. (Even if most of you first stumbled onto the site while surfing for greasy porn, or quasi-political bullshit. Or greasy porn and quasi-political bullshit. Hey, what you do in your spare time is none of my business. Just so long as you drop by occasionally to say hello, I'm cool with all of your lifestyle choices.

(Well, generally cool. I still reserve the right to put plastic over the furniture and put an ass-guard on the dog if you come to visit. Can't be too careful, you know.)

So, I suppose I'll just have to miss the big event. (Unless it had the decency to happen while I've been absorbed in this bit of blather.) And I'll have to wait until a bit later to thank you properly. And I do mean 'properly'. So get out the whipped cream and assume 'the position', folks. We gonna have a partay when I get back. Ruff!