Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
Site Search:
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

« Once Upon a Commute Dreary | Main | The Fire Man Cometh »

Goofball at the Garage

We have a saying in our office:

'It's never the rocket science stuff.'

Meaning that it's not the complicated, convoluted, thinky sorts of things that we spend most of our time on, nor are those the sorts of things that cause us the most headaches. We're a code-writing group for the most part, and we do occasionally run into some sort of mondo scary algorithm or brain-melting logic to code. But those are not our biggest problems.

It's not like those things are simple, mind you. I, for one, am not the perkiest pair of nipples in the proverbial porno -- so these sorts of intellect-requiring projects can cause their share of hair-pulling days and fitful, sleepless nights.

(Well, it's either the projects, or those lunch-truck burritos I've been eating. I'm guessing it's a little from column A, and a little from column B.)

"I'd be sitting there, doing half the hokey pokey in my driver's seat, while cars piled up behind me waiting for their turn. Is that any way to start a day of being shackled to your cubicle? I think not."

But for all of the 'hard' work we struggle through, it pales in comparison to the time spent tracking down the 'easy' stuff. Scanning thousands of lines of code for a rogue comma or semicolon. Troubleshooting a system top to bottom -- only to find that someone accidentally kicked the plug on the server. Trying desperately to understand the problem a user is seeing, and later discovering their video card was on the fritz. These are the most common issues -- the piddling little details that grind us to a halt every now and then. It's never the rocket science stuff.

Why do I bring this up? Because for me -- not the swingingest single at the orgy, remember -- this rule of 'easy stuff hard' seems to extend to my commute to the office, as well.

To be fair, there is some 'hard stuff' involved with driving to work, as well. Unsynchronized stop lights, speed traps, elderly Sunday-driving obstacles -- but I can usually find my way around or through these difficulties. My biggest problem lately has been the card reader at the office garage.

The reader panel is a flat plastic rectangle, about three inches wide by five inches tall. At the upper right corner is a little status light -- the sort of thing that lights green and bleeps reassuringly when you've been scanned properly, or flashes red and bleats at you like an angry goose when there's an error. For months -- months, I say! -- I believed that the 'status light' was also the card reader. Most of the card readers I've ever seen have a little optical dealie like that to recoqnize the card.

What I could never understand is why scanning the card was so damned difficult. I took great pains to shimmy the car close to the reader, and stretch my card up by the light. But often I'd have to wave it back and forth, turn it around, and waggle it up and down to get the stupid garage to let me in. I'd be sitting there, doing half the hokey pokey in my driver's seat, while cars piled up behind me waiting for their turn. Is that any way to start a day of being shackled to your cubicle? I think not.

So, on Friday I made the discovery that you must have seen coming by now. The status light is just that -- a light. A simple brainless LED, blind to the world and ignorant of any cards or raving idiots waving around in front of it. As it turns out, the whole rest of the panel is the card reader, and -- assuming you actually wave your card in front of it -- works quite nicely. All those times I sat, waving and swiping and cursing Henry Ford and Karl Benz for popularizing the production of the infernal machines that led to my garage fiasco, I was missing the card reader doohickey entirely. I might as well have waved my card at the garage wall, or in front of the attendant's face.

(I tried the latter once, actually. The guy let me into the garage, but I'm convinced he snuck over and peed on my wheels while I was at work. When I peel out, it still smells like asparagus.)

Anyway, now I know. So I should be able to get into the garage without any further delay or humiliation. I suppose the moral of the story is this -- when you're not the sharpest shucker in the crab shack, everything is 'rocket science'. Meh.





Permalink | Comments (1)


, ,



Comments

Cubicle workers unite! (Imagine I'm pumping my fist in the air right now)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9DUs9e2O3LY

Post a comment

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-11 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Science:
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on Distractify:
  My Author Page


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks


Three Wee Tweets:
Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers (64)
A Doofus Is Me (190)
Articles 'n' Zines (71)
Audience Participation (35)
Awkward Conversations (168)
Bits About Blogging (162)
Bitter Old Man Rants (48)
Blasts from My Past (77)
Cars 'n' Drivers (59)
Dog Drivel (78)
Eek!Cards (266)
Foodstuff Fluff (112)
Fun with Words! (69)
Googlicious! (27)
Grooming Gaffes (82)
Just Life (230)
Loopy Lists (33)
Making Fun of Jerks (54)
Marketing Weenies (64)
Married and a Moron (179)
Miscellaneous Nonsense (62)
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig (84)
Sleep, and Lack Thereof (34)
TV & Movies & Games, O My! (98)
Tales from the Stage (65)
Tasty Beverages (29)
The Happy Homeowner (77)
Vacations 'n' Holidays (126)
Weird for the Sake of Weird (69)
Whither the Weather (37)
Wicked Pissah Bahstan (44)
Wide World o' Sports (123)
Work, Work, Work (199)

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

Studio30Plus

Fun Blog Directory

Bloggers in Brookline, Massachusetts

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

blog directory

Boston original stories and humor articles

Vote

Listed on BlogShares

Submit Blog

Top Blogs

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom

Site Affiliations
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-13 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved