Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark Site

Subscribe via FeedBurner

Charlie Hatton
Watertown, MA



All Quotes
Site Search:
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

« My Kingdom for a Tasty Sub | Main | Day Job Douchebaggery »

Eleven Questions, and Random Tomato Snark

So, can someone smarter than me -- meaning, pretty much anyone -- explain to me the difference, real or imagined, between Diet Pepsi and Pepsi One? Is it just a marketing thing? Do the folks at PepsiCo think that big, strong, burly types like me won't drink a 'diet soda', but we're on board with a 'one' cola?

And if it's a taste thing, then why keep Diet Pepsi around at all? Is Pepsi One the 'new Diet Pepsi'? And does that make Diet Pepsi the Diet Pepsi Classic?

And which came first, Pepsi One or Coke's C2? What's with all the numbers, anyway? And why are both these assbag companies throwing this shit at us, and adulterating their sugar water with cherries and vanilla and god knows what else? Can't we all just have a plain, regular damned soda any more? Sheesh. I'm not shopping for a goddamned car; I just need something to wash down my sandwich. Give me a break over here.

Speaking of sandwiches -- or even better, The Sandwich -- I fully expected some smartass to read my last post, and comment with something along the lines of:

'You should learn to like tomatoes -- they're good for you.'

Oh, horse balls. I used to get that kind of crap from my family growing up. It was a stinking load of ass salad then, and it's a stinking load of ass salad now. Just because something's 'good for you' doesn't mean you have to like it -- and if there's even one beneficial thing that you don't like, then I don't want to hear that kind of beaverplop from you. That goes for exercising, sitting up straight, flossing, eating your damned cauliflower, and anything else that might buy you a few miserable extra days on the wrong end of your life. Like I used to tell my family:

'Sure, tomatoes are good for you. So are high colonics, apparently, but I don't see you shoving a fire hose up grandma's ass every week to clean her out. So shut yer yap and pass the potato chips.'

Oh, and one more question, before I go -- did anyone else catch a glimpse of ESPN's Wednesday Night Baseball set between games tonight? Since when do the boys in Bristol design their sets after Tron? That thing had 'laser light show gone wrong' written all over it. And Larry Bowa sitting in the middle of all that nonsense, trying not to be his usual gruff, snarly self? I'm surprised he didn't bust a vein right there on camera -- they must have him doped up on enough tranqs to bring down a hippo. That was the most surreal thirty seconds of television I've seen in a very long time, people. And with the ridiculous shit I TiVo, that's saying something.





Permalink | | Comments (8)






Comments

*Sigh* Do I have to do *ALL* your corn-syruppy product education?

Diet Pepsi: has no calories
Pepsi One has 1 calorie.

There is quite a difference in taste between the two and the REASON they don't take one off the market is because some people prefer the taste of Diet Pepsi to Pepsi One and vice versa. See...that's called MARKETING. Maybe if you got your head out of parantheses every once in a while, you'd know that. :-P

And C2 is the equivalent of Pepsi Edge - both are about 50 calories and which means they have half the sugar as the originals and esentially have about half the sweetness flavor. Yeah, I don't get it either.

*Sigh* Do I have to do *ALL* your corn-syruppy product education?

Diet Pepsi: has no calories
Pepsi One has 1 calorie.

There is quite a difference in taste between the two and the REASON they don't take one off the market is because some people prefer the taste of Diet Pepsi to Pepsi One and vice versa. See...that's called MARKETING. Maybe if you got your head out of parantheses every once in a while, you'd know that. :-P

And C2 is the equivalent of Pepsi Edge - both are about 50 calories and which means they have half the sugar as the originals and esentially have about half the sweetness flavor. Yeah, I don't get it either.

I'm with you. Just leave the stuff alone. If a product is good, you don't need to keep producing it in 'other' flavors. If it's not good, then maybe you do need some backup strategy. So by creating this other stuff, all you're saying is that the original product isn't good enough. I haven't slept much, did any of that make sense? Oh, and why, for about the past week or so, has it taken all of a full 50 seconds for your page to load? And I'm on a T1 line.

Okay, now that I've cleaned my laptop of the coffee I just spewed after reading the comment about grandma and the high colonic...

A bud of mine told me that there is a "Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper with Lemon" on the market... how's that for a carbonated flavor overload?

STINK WRINKLE

And interestingly Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr, Pepper tastes EXACTLY the same as regular Diet Dr. Pepper... *shrugs*

Well, I was totally gonna say what Jenn said, basically word for word, but she handled it fo me.

So um yeah, what she said. I don't do sports, so I can;t address the other part.

I don't know. I pretty much ignore all of the diets and pseudo-diets and half-diets and low-carbs, since I'm pretty attached to my Diet Cokes.

The Ex used to try to get me to eat onions all the time. "They're good for you!" Irritated the crap out of me - it was like I was a five-year old and wouldn't eat my broccoli for Daddy. Why is it that people don't understand (or care) how extremely condescending that whole thing is?!

Post a comment


HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-9 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks


Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
6° of Technorati
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers (32)
A Doofus Is Me (121)
Articles 'n' Zines (31)
Audience Participation (33)
Awkward Conversations (98)
Bits About Blogging (122)
Bitter Old Man Rants (36)
Blasts from My Past (57)
Cars 'n' Drivers (42)
Dog Drivel (48)
Foodstuff Fluff (77)
Fun with Words! (53)
Googlicious! (25)
Grooming Gaffes (65)
Just Life (134)
Loopy Lists (27)
Making Fun of Jerks (34)
Marketing Weenies (53)
Married and a Moron (110)
Miscellaneous Nonsense (62)
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig (57)
Sleep, and Lack Thereof (19)
Standup Stories (33)
TV & Movies & Games, O My! (81)
Tasty Beverages (24)
The Happy Homeowner (53)
Vacations 'n' Holidays (84)
Weird for the Sake of Weird (60)
Whither the Weather (26)
Wicked Pissah Bahstan (27)
Wide World o' Sports (97)
Work, Work, Work (133)

Plugs, Shameless
CafePress Mug
CafePress Goodies

WE BLOG FUNNY

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass





Humor & Funny Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory

Blog Directory

Business Directory for Watertown, MA

Performing Arts Blog Directory

Find the best blogs at Blogs.com.

Blog Ratings

Humor (Videos) - TOP.ORG

Blog Directory

Blog Directory


Favorites
Banterist
ByrneUnit
Cynical: A Life
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Geese Aplenty
Jennsylvania
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Rude Cactus
Scaryduck
Stutarded
Sundry Mourning
The Daily Egg
TiggyBlog

Friends
And Another Thing...
Anomalous Data
Apperceptive Journey
Blog d'Elisson
BuzzStuff
Charm Bracelet
Couer d'Elle
Day in the Life of Grace
Everyday Lunasea
Exploring Me
Faded Sunsets
Forget Me Now
Fuzzy Logic
Get Your Head Out Of Your Butt
GiggleChick
HalfGeek.net
Have You Met Tony?
Here's My Gripe
Home Fires
Jeff's Darn Blog
Kat's Eyes
LabsWork4ME
Lex Icon
Life in Black and White
Lil Blog of Horrors
Little Pieces of Nothing
Matt Hearn
Maximum Verbosity
MisAngela
Moose Udderings
My Dear Hard Drive
Notes from the Lion's Den
Out of the Mouth of Dave
Passing Parade
Provident 360
rARsh
Scott's Tip of the Day
Scriptorium
Stu's 360
Surgical Strikes
Swapping Lives
Telecommuting Journal
The Magic Sleigh
The Steam Factory
Three Time Loser
Turquoise Moon
Unbearable Lightness
Voyage of Dick Headley
Walaski Citings
Writing Mommy

Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS

© 2003-9 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved