Can the 'Frankpocalypse' Be Far Behind? [Where the Hell Was I?]

June 2, 2004

Can the 'Frankpocalypse' Be Far Behind?

Well, I suppose getting noticed for anything is better than being ignored, right?

Only... I'm not sure I'm so comfortable about what I'm getting noticed for lately. Namely, my recent rant about the 'Girthy Hot Dog' man.

(Jeez, I feel creepy just typing that. Somebody get me a shower and a Playboy, would you?)

Anyway, I figured that post -- like most of my entries -- would slip, virtually unnoticed, into the ether, never to draw attention again, after a few reads and a couple of (much-appreciated and lustily perused) comments.

Well. Seems I was wrong. Also seems I'm setting a bit of a trend. Or following a trend, and getting swept up in the sweet, sweaty girthyness of it all.

(Again, need a shower. Why won't this creepiness scrub off?!)

Look, the point is, that post from Monday is getting a bit of early attention -- two intrepid web searchers out there have already found this little site of mine through the following searches:

Bitches. I always said I wanted to be known for my girthitude... but not like this. Not like this!

And if you noticed, I'm one of the top results in both those searches. Two separate and distinct search engines have deemed yours truly a top resource -- perhaps even an expert -- for all of the world's girthy weiner needs.

(For the love of all that jiggles in the night... there's no shower wet enough to wash that one off. *shudder*)

Eh, I suppose I'll just have to deal with it. And hey, if it gets more people interested in this drivel... eyeballs are eyeballs, right? Even if they are in search of girthitatious weenies. And I have found some pretty funny similar blog posts by hopping through the search results -- at least I'm not the only one wigged out by this ad.

Of course, this post isn't going to help matters. I must have blurted 'girth' in one form or another a half dozen times. That'll keep the wiener-seekers knocking on the door for a while longer, I'm sure. Maybe that's okay -- maybe I'll play this thing up, and try to become the 'King of Girth'. I'll change the name of the site -- it'll be 'Girth 'n' Mirth'. No, wait -- 'Girthy Giggles'. How about 'Plump Juicy Weiners and Steamy Buns'? No? Too much?

Ah, well. I tried. And hey -- at this point, I think we all need a shower. So at least I've managed to drag you into my nightmare, too. That's something. Misery loves girthery, you know. Heh.