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« The Grass Is as Green as Its Ever Going to Get, Pal | Main | The Green Green Groceries of Home »

A Man of Many... Somethings

With Fathers' Day rolling around yesterday, I've been thinking about something my own dad once said to me in my youth.

I don't remember the exact situation; I was dealing with some challenge or disappointment or a girl who'd put gum in my hair. Or who hadn't put gum in my hair, or who didn't appreciate the gum I'd put into her hair. Something traumatic like that.

Anyway, I remember my dad sat me down, heard me out, and then offered a single piece of fatherly wisdom:

"Son, life isn't about the things that happen to you. The question is, when those things happen, what sort of man will you become?"

(I think it was my dad who said that. Come to think of it, I might have been a Growing Pains rerun. Or Family Ties. I have this strong feeling of being annoyed with Tina Yothers in there somewhere.

You know what, screw it. My old man can have this one. I'm giving it to him.)

"I can finally tell my father -- and anyone else who wants to know -- what kind of man I've become."

Of course, I didn't have an answer to the question then. I was still a kid. I had no idea what things would happen as I grew up, or how I'd react or which people would be putting their gum into which other peoples' hairs.

But now, I know. Decades of experience later, and I have the answers. I can finally tell my father -- and anyone else who wants to know -- what kind of man I've become. To wit:

I'm the kind of man who:


So. There you go. That's apparently the man that I turned out to be, all these years later. Huh.

I'm not so sure Dad's going to be so keen on this stuff. Or understand some of it. Or want to hear anything about any of it.

Maybe I'll paste it in an email and send it to Alan Thicke, or Meredith Baxter-Birney. That seems safer. Yeah, I'll go with that.





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