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Charlie Hatton
Watertown, MA
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Hey, it's been a while since we made a list.
Why don't we make a list?
You wanna make a list?
"I will run you over, and then I will eat you!"
Okay, okay -- we'll make a list.
Sheesh. So demanding.
Anyway, here's the latest list, courtesy of my maddening morning commute through a sea of jackasses who think the road is their personal private walkway:
Things I've Yelled at Pedestrians From My Car That Could, In a Court of Law, Conceivably Be Considered 'Road Rage'
"Lady, that ass isn't nearly hot enough to keep me from smacking you with a Honda."
"Next time, mister? Legless. LEGLESS!!"
"Your crossing guard can't help you now, Junior!"
"I will run you over, and then I will eat you!"
"Hey, humpstain -- my 'right of way' trumps your 'right to life', you dig?"
"Move that walker, grandpa, or you'll be trading it for a wheelchair!"
"I bet that sweater would look even better crumpled up on my front bumper."
"You'd better have a Buick in those pants, buddy, or this is gonna hurt."
"Nice legs, sweetheart. Now USE THEM!!"
"Metal box go fast! Box hit you -- very bad! Me winner! You? Douchebag!"
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Damn your eyes, Mr. Hatton! When will I learn not to read your site when I have a mouth full of coffee?