Where the Hell Was I? blog: Original humor & comedy articles daily weblog

It's Still Weekend, Right?

So, you know how it is, right? You spend the weekend on Cape Cod... scoot back into town on Monday morning... spend a couple of hours in the office... go home early, watch some TV... then do a little bit of work...

Surely, you can see how there's little room for writing in there. Or thinking about things to be writing. Or writing about having no time to think of anything to write.

Oh. Wait. Actually, there is a bit of time for that last thing. But just a bit.

Anyway, the rest of the weekend was fairly uneventful. There's just something about a car ride that puts me to sleep, though -- it's two hours from here to the Cape, and I napped both ways. It wasn't so bad on the way there, but it was a bit embarrassing to walk into the office this morning with fresh drool stains on my shirt. People are used to seeing that shit from me at the end of the day, but at ten in the morning? That's just embarrassing.

In that same vein, I'm gonna have to cut our 'QT' short tonight, I'm afraid, lest I end up with 'slobber collar' again in the morning. If I keep that sort of thing up, they'll fit me with a lip splint or something. Maybe a droolcatcher I could wear around my neck. Something like that.

Anyway, the point is, I need a good night's sleep. See, apparently, our bed is made out of concrete, reinforced by some sort of rebar or steel or other. Because any time we spend the night somewhere else, it feels like we're sleeping on Jell-O.

(Okay, so sometimes we do like to sprinkle a little bit of Jell-O on the bed. But that's... um, different. That's not for sleepin'.)

As I was saying, our mattress is apparently on the hardish side of the spectrum -- the past two nights at the bed and breakfast were great, but the actual snoozing left something to be desired. All I got for my trouble in bed was a bunch of wild turning, some frenzied tossing, and an aching back. And I don't mean any of that in the good way, either, dammit! Not as far as you know, anyway.

All of which is to say, I'm out. Away. Off like a prom dress. I'll be back tomorrow, but for the first time in the last three days or so, I need to get some solid shuteye that isn't in the passenger seat of a moving car. You kids have a good night, now.

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