Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
Site Search:
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

« A Whole New Way to Claim That Nothing Is Ever My Fault | Main | Reason #42,391 Why I Hate Modern Advertising »

To Sleep, Perchance to Obsess

This is not cool, people. I'm starting to have the dreams.

(No, ya big perv -- not those kinds of dreams. If I had those dreams, I wouldn't be telling you about it, now would I?

Or at the very least, I wouldn't be calling them 'not cool'. Sometimes 'those' dreams are the only things that get me out of bed on a workday morning. Le whee.)

The dreams I'm talking about are the work dreams. You ever get those? You're so swamped at work, and juggling so many things at once that all the office-related shit finally seeps deep into your subconscious and invades your nighty-night time, too? And doesn't that just suck big fuzzy old ass?

Me, I've been having the dreams for a week or more. Big things are happening at Workplace™, and I'm right in the middle of it. Or close to the middle, anyway. Maybe a little to the left, and south a bit -- yeah, right there, see that table just off-center? I'm hiding under that most of the time. Bitches.

See, sleep is usally a refuge from whatever's going on in the real world. I don't always remember my dreams, but when I do, they're usually pretty okay. Confusing, and nonsensical (Yeah, 'imagine that', right? Smartass.), but generally a good time. Even when they're not those kinds of dreams.

But lately, my six-to-eight hours of sleep have been eerily reminiscent of my eight-to-twelve hours at the office. Now even in my dreams, I find myself hunched over a keyboard or a whiteboard, or -- ye gods forbid -- in a meeting, trying desperately to get things done. Or at least to the point where the next sensation I feel isn't likely to be a boot firmly thwacking my ass.

Now don't get me wrong -- I'm making progress. At least, I feel like I'm making progress. Well, that is to say -- I think I feel like I'm making progress. But if I really thought that, I probably wouldn't spend my nights dreaming about making progress, then, would I? Or more often, dreaming about not making progress. Perhaps there's less to my self-assurance than I'd initially hoped. Damn it.

In the end, of course, all of this will pass. The work will get done, eventually, one way or another, and I'll go back to surfing my usual dream channels -- sports, conversations with random and impossible combinations of people, and (of course) flying.

(I forget what the flying dreams say about me, but I'm pretty sure it's not good. All interpretations of dreams seem to be disparaging or embarrassing, or frequently both, and I'm sure this one's no different.

It probably indicates something horrific to do with penis size or my mother or being a latent emu necrophiliac or something. For what it's worth, I don't have the flying dreams nearly as often as I used to, but I'm sure somehow that's bad, too. Maybe I'm not even good enough for dead emus any more. Meh.)

Anyway, sooner or later, I'll be back to 'normal'. As close as I get, anyway. In the meantime, I suppose I should feel lucky to be getting any sleep at all. Maybe I can get my dream self to relax, at least, and take a quick nap at his desk. I know I've wanted to do that for weeks, now, but the real people in my office never give me the chance. Here's hoping dreamland dude has better luck than I do. Sweet dreams, little buddy.





Permalink | Comments (2)






Comments

Don't you hate it when your dreams are exactly like being awake?

Maybe you're dreaming right now.

I'm certainly dreaming right now. At least I hope so, because I don't know enough swedish to tell this amputee bikini team that they're on their way to a workplace harassment suit.

Post a comment

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Science:
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks


Me on Apartments:
  Author Page


Three Wee Tweets:
Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers (70)
A Doofus Is Me (203)
Articles 'n' Zines (74)
Audience Participation (35)
Awkward Conversations (176)
Bits About Blogging (168)
Bitter Old Man Rants (50)
Blasts from My Past (78)
Cars 'n' Drivers (60)
Dog Drivel (78)
Eek!Cards (267)
Foodstuff Fluff (116)
Fun with Words! (71)
Googlicious! (27)
Grooming Gaffes (88)
Just Life (238)
Loopy Lists (33)
Making Fun of Jerks (59)
Marketing Weenies (66)
Married and a Moron (185)
Miscellaneous Nonsense (62)
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig (84)
Sleep, and Lack Thereof (34)
TV & Movies & Games, O My! (101)
Tales from the Stage (74)
Tasty Beverages (29)
The Happy Homeowner (81)
Vacations 'n' Holidays (134)
Weird for the Sake of Weird (71)
Whither the Weather (40)
Wicked Pissah Bahstan (49)
Wide World o' Sports (124)
Work, Work, Work (206)

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

Listed on BlogShares

Top Blogs

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved