Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark Site

Subscribe via FeedBurner

Charlie Hatton
Watertown, MA



All Quotes
Site Search:
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

« Tomorrow's Only a Cliche Away | Main | Pictures from Paradise »

Home Is Where the Heat Isn't

The missus and I have returned to Boston, touching down on an afternoon-turned-evening-turned-redeye flight at around two this morning. Somewhere in the few thousand miles between Quintana Roo to Logan Airport, we lost the sun, the summer, and forty degrees of heat. But our Yucatan sunburns still itch. Mother Nature is a puta sometimes, yo.

Still, it's good to be home to see my own bed and TiVo and keyboard again. I'd include the dog, too, but she's in the midst of her customary post-vacation pout. We'll eventually coax her out of it with a nice long walk and reparation treats, and she'll be fine. Nothing says lovin' like fourteen Snausages and a Milkbone breakfast, apparently.

As for the vacation, we had a fairly spectacular time. Last time we left the country, I recounted our adventures in no less than six full posts. While that was a valuable writing exercise, it also established beyond the shadow of a doubt that I have no future in the travelogue industry. This time, I'll spare you the weeklong recap and limit the vacation verbiage to two posts. Words today, and pictures manana. Let's do eet.

"I can converse in Spanish at the level of your average three-year-old child, provided that we're talking only in the present tense, and the discussion centers around the finer points of guacamole."

My initial fear during this vacation was that I hadn't brushed up enough on my Espanol to see us through. My language training consists of two semesters of high-school Spanish taken nearly veinte anos ago, plus the occasional Chi-Chi's menu. So I can converse in Spanish at the level of your average three-year-old child, provided that we're talking only in the present tense, and the discussion centers around the finer points of guacamole.

Luckily, we were staying at a resort frequented by Americans even more ugly than I, so nearly all the staff were bilingual. I employed the local language where I could, with a 'que pasa, amigo' here and an 'otra margarita, por favor' there -- but mostly, we got by en Ingles.

(In the 'small victory' category, though, a couple of kindly staffers heard my attempts at Spanish and asked:

'Hablas Espanol, senor?'

To which I responded:

'Solamente un poco, gracias.'

Which I believed to mean, 'Only a little, thanks.' Given the very odd looks on their faces -- and the fact that they immediately switched to English -- I now wonder whether it means something more along the lines of 'Your grandmother was a banana, thanks.'

Maybe my pronounciation needs a little work.)

Mostly, I found that 'conversational Spanish' is really only useful if you know enough to get yourself into a conversation in the first place. Most of what I know, I could only use at various points while talking to my wife. Which is unfortunate, because she doesn't speak any Spanish at all. On the other hand, she won't get desnudo when I ask her in English, either, so it's not really so different.

At any rate, we were better off than on a trip to Paris a few years ago, when our roles were reversed. As we mingled among the French, we found fewer English speakers, and had to make do with my wife's basic French and my admittedly less-than-ideal charade techniques.

(You can likely imagine the trouble that ensued when I tried using only hand gestures to ask:

"Can YOU TELL ME where to PEE?"

We all had a nice chuckle over that at the gendarmerie afterwards.)

The other details of the trip were pretty standard, really -- lots of sun, lots of food, and lots of tequila. We slept late, swam a lot, missed most of our dinner reservations, toured the heart of one of history's greatest civilizations, and never quite knew who, when, or how much to tip. Pretty standard all-inclusive Mexico resort stuff, really. I'll tell you more tomorrow. There'll be pictures. You'll like it, really. Right now, I need my siesta. I'm still on margarita time. Hasta manana, amigos.



,




TrackBack



TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://new.wherethehellwasi.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/983

Comments

I'm not entirely sure whether you already know this, but I think you probably meant to call la Madre de la Natura una puta (a bitch/whore) rather than una punta (a point). Although she can be pretty darned pointy, I've heard.

Just a guess. Anyway, welcome back!

Ed.: Shelley, I see your punta. Post duly edited. Gracias!

welcome home!

Hey, who are you calling a grassy ass?!

Post a comment


HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-6 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
My Other Site:
  Dial 'M' for Moron


Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks (Braves)


Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Hallmark Moment
A Shitbox Showdown
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
6° of Technorati
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Archives
Full Archive

Archive by Date

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers (25)
A Doofus Is Me (88)
Articles 'n' Zines (28)
Audience Participation (31)
Awkward Conversations (69)
Bits About Blogging (106)
Bitter Old Man Rants (33)
Blasts from My Past (29)
Cars 'n' Drivers (34)
Dog Drivel (36)
Foodstuff Fluff (62)
Fun with Words! (50)
Googlicious! (23)
Grooming Gaffes (51)
Just Life (95)
Loopy Lists (26)
Making Fun of Jerks (30)
Marketing Weenies (49)
Married and a Moron (76)
Miscellaneous Nonsense (61)
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig (51)
Sleep, and Lack Thereof (18)
Standup Stories (32)
TV & Movies & Games, O My! (72)
Tasty Beverages (21)
The Happy Homeowner (41)
Vacations 'n' Holidays (64)
Weird for the Sake of Weird (56)
Whither the Weather (20)
Wicked Pissah Bahstan (23)
Wide World o' Sports (83)
Work, Work, Work (115)

Plugs, Shameless
CafePress Mug
CafePress Goodies

Amazon Wishes




Heroes
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Jim Caple
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State
User Friendly

Really Cool People
Who Are Clearly
Encouraging Me
Far Too Much

Chris - Red Hog Diary
Lori - Hahn at Home

Favorites
Banterist
Blogatron
Blunderland
Breakfast of Losers
ByrneUnit
Cynical: A Life
Defective Yeti
Geese Aplenty
Jennsylvania
Kamikaze Lunchbreak
Little. Red. Boat.
Little. Yellow. Different.
Mighty Geek
Rude Cactus
Scaryduck
Stutarded
Sundry Mourning
Teejmahal
Tequila Mockingbird
Witt and Wisdom

Friends
And Another Thing...
Anomalous Data
Apologist
Apperceptive Journey
Bed and Breakfast Man
Billy's 360
Blog d'Elisson
Blueher's Babblings
Box 1715
BuzzStuff
Caught in the XFire
Chaos Magnet
Charm Bracelet
Cogent Diversion
Corporate Mommy
Couer d'Elle
Crazy Spolied Blitch
Darjeeling in the Teapot
Day in the Life of Grace
Dead Robot
Death By Pastries
DeJENNerate.com
Devil's Plaything
Digital Fishwrap
Dogwood Dreams
Echoes of Forever
Eclectic Enigma
Enny-Pen
Everyday Lunasea
Experiment 301
Exploring Me
F.E.A.R. Realized
Fannymanson
Faz
Flower in the Breeze
Forget Me Now
Freakin' Invisible?
Get Your Head Out Of Your Butt
GiggleChick
Girl I Used to Know
Glory
H2otown
Hahn at Home
HalfGeek.net
Have You Met Tony?
Here's My Gripe
Home Fires
Housewife Chronicles
How Did I Get Here?
I Ain't Already There
I Am My Own Damn Blog
I Blog Because I Can
I Got News for You
I Have Questions
Idle Thoughts
Independence of Mind
Informed Dissent
Inherently Funny
James H Clark
Jeff's Darn Blog
Jenna's 360
Karen's Place
Kerry's 360
Kris Earle
LabsWork4ME
Last Girl on Earth
Leave It at the Beep
Leege
Less People Less Idiots
Lessons of Nixon
Lex Icon
Life in Black and White
Life of Brian
Little Pieces of Nothing
Lizard
Lo Dogger's Ponderings
Matt Hearn
Maximum Verbosity
Mental Masturbations
MisAngela
Momma Mia, Mea Culpa
Monster Piggy Monkey Bubble
Moose Udderings
My So-Called Life
Nay-Nay's 360
NeonBubble
Notes from the Lion's Den
NY Escorts Confessions
One Canadian Voice
Orchid's Zen Garden
Paper, Sticks, and String
Passing Parade
People Are Stupid
Poison Apple Tree
Poosa Chronicles
Profound Passions
Provident 360
Purple Goddess
Pye in the Face
R.A.O.S.T.
Radioactive Egg
rARsh
rARsh
Reading in the Dark
Red Hog Diary
Rhythm of Chaos and Kiss
Robot Rowboat
Samantha Burns
Say What?
Scriptorium
Site Insights
Sleepless with the Muse
So Here's the Deal
Stash's Samizdat
Stink Stank Stunk
Stu's 360
Stupid Angry Canajun
Suddenly, Sometimes
Surgical Strikes
Swapping Lives
The Steam Factory
Three Time Loser
Today Is the First Day...
Unbearable Lightness
Unfinished Business
Voyage of Dick Headley
Waiting to Be Cherished
Walaski Citings
Walking Stick
What a GIrl Wants
Why Not - Right?
Woman Without a Man...
Writing Mommy
Your Moosey Fate

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RSD RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom

Site Affiliations

Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS

© 2003-6 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved